cipher

It's been so beautiful out.
Last night the air smelled of cedar, the perfect balance of chill and humidity like a caress. The ground, everywhere, twinkling...

In less than six days I'll be gone. I wish I didn't have to go. I came to love this place, these people. It's all going to leave a gapping hole in my life. I'll miss her the most, of course, but I'll miss every one of you.

I wish I didn't have to go, but I fucked up. She's even taken me off her friend's list now. I can't believe how much that stings...I didn't know I could hurt worse.

I never wanted it to be this way. I still don't know how it got so out of control, how things could devolve to such a degree. It hurts so badly, because it proves that all the horrible things I've always thought about myself are true. All of them.

fuck