My buddy fentopal posted something great in his journal that prompted this. Please let me know what you think of my ramblings...
Have you ever had a successful and lasting long-term romantic reunion with someone, or is it always destined to be a replay of your previous relationship together?
It's an interesting dilemma when someone you used to care about deeply many years ago resurfaces: there may still be a spark, and you have both changed enough that you think (i.e., hope) things might work out differently this time around. But underneath our layers of progress and sophistication and growth, aren't we basically the same people at the very core, with the same emotional triggers? In my experience at least, we are rarely truly different.
There are of course no absolutes, and the time spent catching up and learning where you are together can be a blast: very fulfilling and instructional, and it may halp repair old wounds for the long run.
In my case, that is what happened with me and my former girlfriend, the one I still call my ex; although I was also married once upon a time, my ex-girlfriend actually had the biggest effect on me and has had the most lasting impact on who I am today - for better and for worse. We dated on and off for years, mostly long distance - which is its own hell right there. Then we went several years without even speaking, much less dating, and were involved with other people along the way.
Then one day she tracked me down. We dated long distance again, she moved to Atlanta to be with me, after 2 years we got engaged - and a year after that we broke up again! But after a few more years apart, we are now friends once more, and good ones: weighing in on the key decisions in each others lives, that sort of thing. We even saw each other quite a few times when our paths crossed last summer and were able to hang out without the emotional component overwhelming us, i.e. we didn't hook up, and we had many chances if we'd wanted to...but neither of us wanted to go there again. We both felt released from the hold the former version of our relationship had had on us...
It's been a great process, and I feel very lucky.
What has been your experience?
Have you ever had a successful and lasting long-term romantic reunion with someone, or is it always destined to be a replay of your previous relationship together?
It's an interesting dilemma when someone you used to care about deeply many years ago resurfaces: there may still be a spark, and you have both changed enough that you think (i.e., hope) things might work out differently this time around. But underneath our layers of progress and sophistication and growth, aren't we basically the same people at the very core, with the same emotional triggers? In my experience at least, we are rarely truly different.
There are of course no absolutes, and the time spent catching up and learning where you are together can be a blast: very fulfilling and instructional, and it may halp repair old wounds for the long run.
In my case, that is what happened with me and my former girlfriend, the one I still call my ex; although I was also married once upon a time, my ex-girlfriend actually had the biggest effect on me and has had the most lasting impact on who I am today - for better and for worse. We dated on and off for years, mostly long distance - which is its own hell right there. Then we went several years without even speaking, much less dating, and were involved with other people along the way.
Then one day she tracked me down. We dated long distance again, she moved to Atlanta to be with me, after 2 years we got engaged - and a year after that we broke up again! But after a few more years apart, we are now friends once more, and good ones: weighing in on the key decisions in each others lives, that sort of thing. We even saw each other quite a few times when our paths crossed last summer and were able to hang out without the emotional component overwhelming us, i.e. we didn't hook up, and we had many chances if we'd wanted to...but neither of us wanted to go there again. We both felt released from the hold the former version of our relationship had had on us...
It's been a great process, and I feel very lucky.
What has been your experience?
VIEW 12 of 12 COMMENTS
hahaahahahahahaahah
rofl
Why not go for the gold and call us Hollywood Hoodlums?
[Edited on Jan 08, 2004 12:15AM]