cindi_slaughter

blah blah blah
i dont even have anything to say

im painting a pinup girl on my new shelves
i'll post it when im done
looks like thats all i'll be doing tonight



wow looks like im psychic!
so so tired of lonely saturday nights
isnt this why people date?
i though so
whatever i am a strong beautiful wonderful person
and i dont need anything or anyone to make me happy
i hate relying on people
either he doent understand or doesnt care
and i'm pretty sure he understands
mabey im high on paint fumes
or mabey im just fed up
i feel like everyday is spent waiting
waiting for the next big thing to happen
waiting for the weekend
waiting for whatever it is that is supposed to come next
is this it?
is nothing coming next?
i think this is it
i dont think we will ever move in together
or ever move foreward
but could i even life with him?
he says his friends or mother or whatever is the "reason" why he will never marry anyone
what a load of crap
im sorry his friends are losers thats not my fault
and every weekend cant be guys night out
if he wants everynight to be guys night out eventually thats what he's gunna get
and then maybe he'll regret taking me for granted
maybe
how can he not understand that this hurts me?
how does he not see that its not ok to leave me at home
to be alone while he goes out EVERY mother fucking weekend!
thats bullshit
when will he see that?
will it be too late?
i feel like a fucking load of crap
fucking shit ass!!!!

i live where the leaves dont die in the fall
they are just dead