cindi_slaughter

i cant sleep
i keep thinking about death
and all the people around me that have died
its crazy
i always thought when i was younger that you just heard about other schools where kids got killed in car crashes
and just heard about people who lost so may people
but i never thought it would be so real
but i also thought (in 2nd grade) that joey was wierd cause he was the ONLY kid who's parents were divorced
ha
there have just been so many people go lately
so many people go period
kids shouldnt have to bury their parents before they graduate high school
21 year old kids shouldnt die in car crashes
19 yr olds shouldnt shoot themselves
40 yr olds should be dropping
its just
i just
7 yrs and i still dont understand it still isnt real to me
just unreal
death is just so final
its the end
they just arnt there anymore
all of a sudden they are just gone and you cant bring them back
not just for a minute
not just to say one more thing
they are just gone and i just cant accept that
how could an entire life
memories and accomplishments and relationships just be ended so abruptly
just be gone
i just cant accept anything so official
i can control and argue with anything
but you cant argue with death
you cant ask why
there are no answers
just endings
abrupt
unexpected
unwanted
painful
heartbreaking
life changing
tragic endings
and then your left with nothing
nothing but memories
and pain
so much pain
hopefully more memories than pain
but i think sometimes they are one in the same
ya know?
i dont good night