Hot Damn. Nearly a whole week since an update. And oh dear God, have i had a pant wettingly sexy nearly week. Or perhaps not.
Now, there was one main interesting thing that happened. My parents went away on holiday on friday, and those who follow me journal 'o doom will know that my granny, sweet little old dear that she is, lost the last of her sanity and impaled herself on the mercy of my brothers.
They weren't having any of her practical jokes. Like walking round the house in the nude, so they called on me. At 11:30 sunday night when I was pissed out of my brain.
"Nan's turned up and she's bonkers".
"I can't hear you for the screeching. There's a pair of 50 year old goths having sex in the cubicle next to me."
Eventually I got it.
I called the doctor on her monday. no mean feat for a bank holiday. She went for a psychiatric assessment, and was kept in a secure ward for a couple of days observation. As of this morning, it doesn't look like she's leaving the healthcare system.
Now, when my mother and my aunt come back from their respective holidays I've got to tell them that I've got their mother committed. Not quite sure how I should do it. Couple of options spring to my twisted little mind.
I could hire a skywriter
Pros; I don't actually have to tell them
Cons; I'm going to have to change my phone number, undergo cosmetic surgery and start running errands for a colombian drug dealer.
I could hire a barbershop quartet
Pros; Music soothes savages beasts. Even my mother.
Cons; I don't know if the combination of annoying twats in stripy shirts and earth shattering news will lead to another sectioning under the mental health act.
I'll make my litte brother do it.
Pros; He'll get any backlash, and I'll be far away.
Cons; I won't get the credit. This is possibly the most interesting thing to happen to my family in years, and I'm far too vain to not get the infamy.
Oh well, fuck it. Looks like I'm getting her car, and if she escapes, today I bought a Katana.
Now, there was one main interesting thing that happened. My parents went away on holiday on friday, and those who follow me journal 'o doom will know that my granny, sweet little old dear that she is, lost the last of her sanity and impaled herself on the mercy of my brothers.
They weren't having any of her practical jokes. Like walking round the house in the nude, so they called on me. At 11:30 sunday night when I was pissed out of my brain.
"Nan's turned up and she's bonkers".
"I can't hear you for the screeching. There's a pair of 50 year old goths having sex in the cubicle next to me."
Eventually I got it.
I called the doctor on her monday. no mean feat for a bank holiday. She went for a psychiatric assessment, and was kept in a secure ward for a couple of days observation. As of this morning, it doesn't look like she's leaving the healthcare system.
Now, when my mother and my aunt come back from their respective holidays I've got to tell them that I've got their mother committed. Not quite sure how I should do it. Couple of options spring to my twisted little mind.
I could hire a skywriter
Pros; I don't actually have to tell them
Cons; I'm going to have to change my phone number, undergo cosmetic surgery and start running errands for a colombian drug dealer.
I could hire a barbershop quartet
Pros; Music soothes savages beasts. Even my mother.
Cons; I don't know if the combination of annoying twats in stripy shirts and earth shattering news will lead to another sectioning under the mental health act.
I'll make my litte brother do it.
Pros; He'll get any backlash, and I'll be far away.
Cons; I won't get the credit. This is possibly the most interesting thing to happen to my family in years, and I'm far too vain to not get the infamy.
Oh well, fuck it. Looks like I'm getting her car, and if she escapes, today I bought a Katana.
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Hope you had a nice day.