cilantro

I have this horrible feeling of impending doom at work. I can't shake it.

My boss and I have nothing in common at all, which shouldn't matter to a boss/employee relationship, but my job is kind of different. Because I work about six inches from him at all times, its tough to not get annoyed by/ annoy him on a regular basis.

I always feel like I'm fucking something up, that I'm not good enough. I feel like he wants to get rid of me but doesn't have a good enough reason to fire me.

Now I'm not sure if this is true to just this office with this boss, or I'm going to suck at every assisting job I ever get... this is the first office I worked in out of school so I know nothing else. For sure he is a very hard man to work for, as everyone else in the office has pointed out. He's the kind of guy that tells you everything you're doing wrong, and nothing you're doing right. He's demanding. He works us long hours. He gets mad at us personally when something goes wrong that wasn't our fault.

My annual review is tomorrow. Last year when I had my review I thought for sure he was going to tell me I was a horrible employee, and not give me a raise. Instead he said I was doing a good job, and gave me a dollar more an hour.... So perhaps its all in my head, and I should stop worrying.

Then again, perhaps I might be looking for a new job soon.
I suppose it might be a good thing if I changed offices, but I don't want to get fired. Also I suppose I'm a little scared of having to find a new place, learning everything over again and having this all repeated. I'd like to change careers completely, but that's not happening in the near future.



Sigh.