I'm sitting here at my friend Patrick's house. He's at work right now and I am making full use of his DSL. 
I'm excited for him to get back, but feeling a little depressed at the same time.
You see, in a month and a half from now, I won't have the luxury of a short 2 1/2 hour drive to see my buddy. Fuck, I won't be able to see *anyone* that means a shit to me, really. It makes me regret not making more time for my family and some of my friends over the past few years. I have totally taken the fact that my family will always be there for granted. I suck
I think about my Mom and how amazing she is. I think about how I have learned so much from her and how grateful I am for those lessons. At 25 years old, I'm still learning shit from her. I probably wouldn't be unrooting my whole life and moving away to go to school if it wasn't for her. At 42 she went back to college to become a nurse. She's stayed on the Dean's list since she started, regardless of the fact that she runs a household with 2 teenagers, a dog and my Dad.
That brings us to Daddy, doesn't it? My father and I are livng proof that you can hate a person more than anyone else on earth and yet still be willing to throw yourself in front of a bus for them. From my early childhood through my early adulthood (when I moved out) he was constantly on my back about everything. I seriously used to wish he would die. It was tough love at it's worst. He's literally the biggest s.o.b that I have ever met, but he's also the most generous man I have ever known. As much as he can be a prick, nothing makes him happier than to make his loved-ones happy. I would not be the woman I am today if it wasn't for my father and how hard he was on me at one time. I vividly remember a conversation that I had with him when I was 10 years old while he was taking me to school and yelling at me about something.
Me: (after mustering the balls) Daddy, how come you have to be so mean to me sometimes?
My Dad: (his face softened and he sighed) Ame, I know I'm hard on you sometimes, but the world is a tough place. I just want you to be strong enough to take it all on. One day, you'll thank me for it.
Well, thank you, Daddy. Thank you for teaching me to be a strong woman. Thank you for teaching me that I don't have to take anyone's shit. Thank you for teaching me that I can have anything I want as long as I work for it.
Then, there's my brother and my sister. Rad MFin' kids, they are.
My 17 year old sister has 2 jobs, a car that she pays the insurance and car payments on, and pulls straight A's in her AP classes in school. She doesn't drink, smoke or do any drugs. She a goddamned hardass, though. She learned not to take anyone's shit from Daddy, too. Don't fuck wit her My sister will do great things. She's a bitch, but I will enjoy watching her grow into a great woman.
My little brother and I have always been close. Up until about 14 when he decided he was too much of a tough guy (smashing people's faces into lockers for looking at him wrong, and the like), he used to openly tell me that he loved me, every chance he got. Actually, now at 15, he loves me again, but he always says the words in a hushed voice when noone else is around. Now, he mostly shows it by promising to beat up my exboyfriend and generally acting protective. I actually wouldn't be surprised if he could actually do it. Watch out, Tommy! hehe I have high hopes for my lil bro. He's going down a bad path at the moment, but once he gets his head on straight and sees what's wrong with what he's been doing, I have no doubt that he'll turn everything around.
There's my Cypris. What would I do without her? Our relationships has definately changed forms over the years. When she was a teenager, I was basically in a Mom sort of role. Now that she's all grown up, it's like we're the same age, and instead of her learning from me, we're learning things from one another.
You're a fun, intelligent, strong, beautiful young woman, Deb. I love you.
I can't forget to mention my extended family. When my parents were busy with a small business to run, not to mention the fact that my Mom was also working 2 other part-time jobs, my aunts took wonderful care of me (I've got 5 aunts). These women showed me so much love. I'm the affectionate person that I am because of them and I can't tell you how glad I am of that.
Yeah. And I won't get to see these people hardly at all.
Guess I'll have to start selling my body for airfare. :p
I'm excited for him to get back, but feeling a little depressed at the same time.
You see, in a month and a half from now, I won't have the luxury of a short 2 1/2 hour drive to see my buddy. Fuck, I won't be able to see *anyone* that means a shit to me, really. It makes me regret not making more time for my family and some of my friends over the past few years. I have totally taken the fact that my family will always be there for granted. I suck
I think about my Mom and how amazing she is. I think about how I have learned so much from her and how grateful I am for those lessons. At 25 years old, I'm still learning shit from her. I probably wouldn't be unrooting my whole life and moving away to go to school if it wasn't for her. At 42 she went back to college to become a nurse. She's stayed on the Dean's list since she started, regardless of the fact that she runs a household with 2 teenagers, a dog and my Dad.
That brings us to Daddy, doesn't it? My father and I are livng proof that you can hate a person more than anyone else on earth and yet still be willing to throw yourself in front of a bus for them. From my early childhood through my early adulthood (when I moved out) he was constantly on my back about everything. I seriously used to wish he would die. It was tough love at it's worst. He's literally the biggest s.o.b that I have ever met, but he's also the most generous man I have ever known. As much as he can be a prick, nothing makes him happier than to make his loved-ones happy. I would not be the woman I am today if it wasn't for my father and how hard he was on me at one time. I vividly remember a conversation that I had with him when I was 10 years old while he was taking me to school and yelling at me about something.
Me: (after mustering the balls) Daddy, how come you have to be so mean to me sometimes?
My Dad: (his face softened and he sighed) Ame, I know I'm hard on you sometimes, but the world is a tough place. I just want you to be strong enough to take it all on. One day, you'll thank me for it.
Well, thank you, Daddy. Thank you for teaching me to be a strong woman. Thank you for teaching me that I don't have to take anyone's shit. Thank you for teaching me that I can have anything I want as long as I work for it.
Then, there's my brother and my sister. Rad MFin' kids, they are.
My 17 year old sister has 2 jobs, a car that she pays the insurance and car payments on, and pulls straight A's in her AP classes in school. She doesn't drink, smoke or do any drugs. She a goddamned hardass, though. She learned not to take anyone's shit from Daddy, too. Don't fuck wit her
My sister will do great things. She's a bitch, but I will enjoy watching her grow into a great woman.
My little brother and I have always been close. Up until about 14 when he decided he was too much of a tough guy (smashing people's faces into lockers for looking at him wrong, and the like), he used to openly tell me that he loved me, every chance he got. Actually, now at 15, he loves me again, but he always says the words in a hushed voice when noone else is around. Now, he mostly shows it by promising to beat up my exboyfriend and generally acting protective. I actually wouldn't be surprised if he could actually do it. Watch out, Tommy! hehe I have high hopes for my lil bro. He's going down a bad path at the moment, but once he gets his head on straight and sees what's wrong with what he's been doing, I have no doubt that he'll turn everything around.
There's my Cypris. What would I do without her? Our relationships has definately changed forms over the years. When she was a teenager, I was basically in a Mom sort of role. Now that she's all grown up, it's like we're the same age, and instead of her learning from me, we're learning things from one another.
You're a fun, intelligent, strong, beautiful young woman, Deb. I love you.
I can't forget to mention my extended family. When my parents were busy with a small business to run, not to mention the fact that my Mom was also working 2 other part-time jobs, my aunts took wonderful care of me (I've got 5 aunts). These women showed me so much love. I'm the affectionate person that I am because of them and I can't tell you how glad I am of that.
Yeah. And I won't get to see these people hardly at all.
Guess I'll have to start selling my body for airfare. :p
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And thanks for playin' on the quiz-a-ma-bob. Colonial Club :::shudder::: let's hope it never comes to that again, but I had a great time chatting and virtually drinking with you. I look forward to getting to know you better...
odi omnes