The last few weeks of my life have been lived in a blur. As many of you know I hosted a "local" night sponsored by Suicide Girls for charity. I had a blast, the other girls that came into town that weekend were so amazing to be around, I honestly don't think I could have had a better group of women at my house. There was none of the catty, bitchy, hatred you tend to find among groups of women, we all had a great time. Thank you so much Rosaleigh, Oui and Nexus for coming, and a huge thank you to Azbehn for coming as well, I love all of you women like you cant believe and you traveling in meant more to me than I think I can express.
Others came in for the event as well, my friend Wes came from Chicago to hang out that weekend (Im still working on getting him to get a fucking SG account), hopeful Saige and some of her friends traveled in. All in all it was a great time and I am so happy with the turnout. I cannot wait to host another, Im thinking April, when it gets warm again. One more thing, thank you so much to the members who made donations to the chip in for this event, your generosity means more than you know!!
Dreadthis and I collaborated on what I am thinking is an amazing set, I cannot wait to get it uploaded so the world can see it. We are both very proud of the work we did together. ]MEMBER=Sublyminull] and Fastboyent were running around behind the scenes snapping some awesome photos. Rosaleigh and I also collaborated on a set, that girl worked so hard and I cannot wait to see all of what she came up with. To both Dreadthis and Rosaleigh again, THANK YOU.you two are more amazing than you know.
So my roomie got an SG account Drtylittlerabbit.go fucking say hi and make him feel welcome. Trust me if you get the chance to talk to him youre very lucky, this man is a lifesaver with one of the biggest hearts I have ever had the privilege of knowing. I love him more than he knows and I couldn't be more happy for his recent happiness.
Ok so moving on.. My older sister is about to give me a niece, she has given me two beautiful nephews and now I will finally have a little girl to play with. I'm trying really hard to get her to name her Lanica after our mother Lani, but she wants to name her Karma because "karmas a bitch" my family likes to have fun if you can't tell. I miss them so much, I really wish I could afford to go home to see them. But next time I do get the chance I will have a beautiful little girl waiting there for me. I love kids, especially the ones I can hand back to mom when they start crying or pooping hehe.
My wrist is still not in the best condition. I am really hoping things get better soon, I sit in an office for 4 hours a day staring at the walls. They really don't have anything for me to do so I sit here, either reading or taking some management and web design courses. I really just cant wait to be back to a normal, well normal for me, job. I miss physical work. I feel like I am wasting away inside these white walls. I honestly don't know how office workers don't go completely insane.
I am spending a lot of time with friends lately, taking in every minute I can. I've been playing a lot more pool, drinking way too much, just all in all trying to forget the things that have had me down. Which to be quite honest I cant remember anymore, I just have this feeling of sadness plaguing me, weighing me down, breaking me. The world seems like a surreal painting to me most days, like I am just a body walking and nothing really seems too familiar to me, everything out of place. I want to feel living again. At this point I cant even pin point when I stopped feeling alive, I just know somehow it slipped through my fingers and I am trying desperately to find that feeling again. I know being this way has hurt some people, for those people I am sorry, I am really trying to find what I have been looking for, someday soon I hope I cross back onto the path of the living.
I know there is so much more to add, I know I haven't been completely sleep walking through life.
Ahhhh yes, I hate wintery weather, its so dull and cold, depressing almost, I find myself wanting to be inside all the time, I get cold far too easily. Im using this as a chance to warn my fellow chatters, I will be making a huge comeback soon, I don't want to be outside anymore!!!
Aaaaannnddd I think this winter is going to be used for tattoos, I am really hoping to get a lot of work done on my arms, for those of you that don't know it yet, I have plans for full sleeves soon, all the Batman heroes down my right arm and villains down my left, I don't know if you know this, but I really love Batman. My backpiece will tie in with my sleeves as well, but I think I am going to leave that one up for surprise. All I can say is it will be fucking amazing!!!! I think I am going to finish my sock too, its time, its been half done for far too longits time to make some progress. I have finally found a shop in this area that I trust doing my work. My most recent tattoo, the word "gluttony" on my stomach was done at the Asylum here in Ames and I plan to return for more work. The atmosphere is friendly and fun and the owner of this shop did something really amazing for me for the SG local night, he donated gift certificates to give away at the raffle to raise more money for charity. The selflessness of people lately is starting to give me a little hope for humanity, little, but little is better than what I had before.
Im terribly sorry if you are bored to tears at this point, I am going to leave you will a fuck ton of pictures, just random pictures of me and the people I care about. I hope everyone who read this is doing well and is happy in life. Love
Here are some shots of random parts of my body from a project called Contours shot by Jake Cantu
how you doing ?
It will by a very long week-end I was drunk yesterday, I will be drunk today and maybe tomorrow also !