chuckgelman

If I had a nickel for everything I've forgotten, I wonder how many nickels I'd have.

I've spent the better part of my night scouring the internet for this picture of a retarded kid playing baseball that I had on my old, now defunct, computer. I've had no luck and it's getting pretty frustrating.

I bought a new phone. It's black. They say that's the new pink.

When I was in kindergarten a classmate of mine was walking across the room and out of the goddamn blue he vomited. The vomit was pink and black. There is no memory more burned into my mind than that one.

I drink about nine glasses of water a day. I'm always just a little short of perfection.

If any of you fine folks happen to see a retarded boy playing baseball somewhere along your e-travels, for god's sake let me know.

Adieu.