Hey
Sorry, this post will be emo. I prefered to warn you.
I don't feel good at all today. My bf knows this guy at work and he just bought a house and he's renting his appartment for 460$/month. He talked to my man about taking over the lease and we thought it was brilliant because we have been talking about moving to a bigger place for a few months cuz I'll be back soon in Montreal for real and I'd die for a place I can call my own and that is big enough for a couple. But my man took his time. Didn't wanna rush the guy, who by the way has already bought the house, and as the rational person he is, he waited. Result: the guy called the landlord, she was fucking mad, but 5 min later, she called back and told him it was rented. So we missed it. I ain't saying we would have rented, but maybe if he had been a lil more of an emotional person (as he calls me) like I am, and that he'd have rushed things a lil like I would have done, we would have had some chances to get the appartment. Maybe not. But at least, I would have felt like we did all we could to get the appartment.
My big problem is not that we didn't get the appartment. It's that it didn't seem like he wanted to get it. I mean, he told me that he wasn't sure he could afford to spend 100$ more per month for the rent and that he didn't like to move and moving to an appartment would mean maybe another moving day in 3 or 4 years. Yeah ok. I spend 80$ per month in transportation to do Quebec city-Montreal, Montreal-Quebec city. I live in my bags. I'm not home anywhere I go. But I don't mind even if I've been doing this since 2 years and a half. What bothers me is that when I ask for a place we can both call our own, it doesn't seem to matter to him.
I mean, I am at the point where I NEED to feel that we are a couple that has plans for the future. I need to settle down for real with him. And I NEED to know he feels the same. And I don't.
If we are not at the same level, I gotta know. Because I'm not gonna invest myself so much anymore in that relationship thinking he feels like me. I mean, I love him... very, very much. But I can't keep giving myself completly in something that doesn't matter this much to him.
I also heard about my father today. That always sucks. He's an asshole. I wish I could never hear again from him.
The 2 sets I sent to SG were rejected... once again. What else to say?
I warned you.
Sorry, this post will be emo. I prefered to warn you.
I don't feel good at all today. My bf knows this guy at work and he just bought a house and he's renting his appartment for 460$/month. He talked to my man about taking over the lease and we thought it was brilliant because we have been talking about moving to a bigger place for a few months cuz I'll be back soon in Montreal for real and I'd die for a place I can call my own and that is big enough for a couple. But my man took his time. Didn't wanna rush the guy, who by the way has already bought the house, and as the rational person he is, he waited. Result: the guy called the landlord, she was fucking mad, but 5 min later, she called back and told him it was rented. So we missed it. I ain't saying we would have rented, but maybe if he had been a lil more of an emotional person (as he calls me) like I am, and that he'd have rushed things a lil like I would have done, we would have had some chances to get the appartment. Maybe not. But at least, I would have felt like we did all we could to get the appartment.
My big problem is not that we didn't get the appartment. It's that it didn't seem like he wanted to get it. I mean, he told me that he wasn't sure he could afford to spend 100$ more per month for the rent and that he didn't like to move and moving to an appartment would mean maybe another moving day in 3 or 4 years. Yeah ok. I spend 80$ per month in transportation to do Quebec city-Montreal, Montreal-Quebec city. I live in my bags. I'm not home anywhere I go. But I don't mind even if I've been doing this since 2 years and a half. What bothers me is that when I ask for a place we can both call our own, it doesn't seem to matter to him.
I mean, I am at the point where I NEED to feel that we are a couple that has plans for the future. I need to settle down for real with him. And I NEED to know he feels the same. And I don't.
If we are not at the same level, I gotta know. Because I'm not gonna invest myself so much anymore in that relationship thinking he feels like me. I mean, I love him... very, very much. But I can't keep giving myself completly in something that doesn't matter this much to him.
I also heard about my father today. That always sucks. He's an asshole. I wish I could never hear again from him.
The 2 sets I sent to SG were rejected... once again. What else to say?
I warned you.
VIEW 12 of 12 COMMENTS
dirrrty:
This really sounds like you're in need of a great big hug & a lil push of faith. Men do weird things to test us, don't they? But he must love you.. I think a nice sit down is in order, don't you?
miamaze:
That is all really shitty! It seems to be the time for shitty things to happen. I know how it feels to be inbetween places. Its so hard. Your bf really needs to get his act together!!