chryssi

I`m right here mate.

Faking it to shut people up is easy, but harder in the long run.

I hope you find the courage to set them straight.

if you`re slipping back into hiding how you feel, you should at least confide in someone, maybe your hubby.

Love to you and send me a mesage if you need.

Love silvery

Thank you for your thoughts. It helps to know I can say things and have someone to understand. I wish that I could talk to my hubby, but I have so many secrets that if I stared to ask for help I would end up alone. Certain people have slipped back into my life and are again causing me to be self-destructive. I cannot seem to fing the strength to fight it off, or sometimes I think that I look for it because of an underline feeling of feeling worthless.

I thought I had gotten through these feelings when I finally confronted and resolved my sexual abuse. I thought that was what was behind my actions. But I feel like I am still trying to recreate the abuse. I am so tired of this pity party I keep having for myself. It seems that I don't know how to be anything but depressed. I have lived this way for so long that it is easy and comfortable. Like a warm blanket to protect me from the cold. But the blanket is full of poison. This is crazy, but I'm going to post it anyway. It is how I feel right now, but I am sure it will fade as the goes on.

Thak you Silvery, and I am glad that I could help you feel better to. Anytime you need a lift let me know.

Chryssi