Is morning...I guess I am doing fairly ok today. I did just get up though, and slightly disoriented...I hate mornings....
So, I'm trying something new. I am trying to boost my willpower...I have such little willpower...>sigh< I am going to try to avoid logging on to aim during my day at jury duty to talk to Trevor.
I actually managed to do it yesterday. He said me not being around felt weird, and he missed me, but I think it is something I have to do. I mean, hell that was the first day we haven't spent with each other all day since I met him, well, workday anyway.
Patrick made me promise him I would exercise 3 times a week for 20 minutes a day for a month. I am not sure why he is doing this...I know he is huge exercise guy, but I think he is wanting me to do it because I have been so down about the whole Trevor thing...Endorphins and such....I told him that doesn't work with me that well 'cause I am bipolar.
Eventually, I will get over the Trevor thing. I will probably even get to the point where I don't really love him anymore. Actually, I am pretty sure of that. It's just the way I am. When it happens it makes me feel like, 'were those feelings really love?' And then that makes me feel like I am not really capable of being in love. I'm probably not, I think I just want things really bad that I can't have, then eventually I get bored with them.
Jury duty sucks, btw. I am so utterly bored. I have a short attention span, too, so I am not sure how I expect to make it the rest of this week AND half of next week.
Uuumm...I guess I should start my day so I can leave for court. Don't want to be late >sigh<
~C~
So, I'm trying something new. I am trying to boost my willpower...I have such little willpower...>sigh< I am going to try to avoid logging on to aim during my day at jury duty to talk to Trevor.
I actually managed to do it yesterday. He said me not being around felt weird, and he missed me, but I think it is something I have to do. I mean, hell that was the first day we haven't spent with each other all day since I met him, well, workday anyway.
Patrick made me promise him I would exercise 3 times a week for 20 minutes a day for a month. I am not sure why he is doing this...I know he is huge exercise guy, but I think he is wanting me to do it because I have been so down about the whole Trevor thing...Endorphins and such....I told him that doesn't work with me that well 'cause I am bipolar.
Eventually, I will get over the Trevor thing. I will probably even get to the point where I don't really love him anymore. Actually, I am pretty sure of that. It's just the way I am. When it happens it makes me feel like, 'were those feelings really love?' And then that makes me feel like I am not really capable of being in love. I'm probably not, I think I just want things really bad that I can't have, then eventually I get bored with them.
Jury duty sucks, btw. I am so utterly bored. I have a short attention span, too, so I am not sure how I expect to make it the rest of this week AND half of next week.
Uuumm...I guess I should start my day so I can leave for court. Don't want to be late >sigh<
~C~