chrysea

I could count the people I have cried over on 1 hand...I cried today...actually, I'm still crying...

So, I guess I am single again. I still love you, and he still loves me...He just says he is missing something in his life and for some reason he just isn't happy. And that he knew he was treating my differently, but couldn't help it. That he knew he made me happier when we were just friends and made me sad when we were trying the relationship thing out.

I don't want to fall in love ever again. I hate this feeling. I hate it so bad...I would rather have the lonely feeling compared to this.

I just always wished, when I was hurt like this, that I was a daddy's girl. That my father stayed in my life, and I grew close to him, and he would hold me while I cried and tell me that it would be ok.

I never had that. I never got to have someone hold me when I was sad, and tell me it would be ok.

I take that back. I have had Jessica do it once and my uncle do it once, but I was drunk both times then.

My father is dead now, anyway, so I guess it wouldn't matter. I should just avoid men. Nothing good ever comes from them, or women either.

~C~