chrysea

Here we are tonight. Not really sure what kind of mood I am in. It's kind of a tug of war toss up. Part of me wants to be cocky and intellectually meaningful. The other part just wants to take an aspirin for my headache and go to bed and lie awake in my self pity until eventually I pass out.

My skin is so hot right now. It feels like it is burning, but I am also so very cold. I feel so hot I feel like I should be sweating, but I am not.

And my god is my brain pounding.

Yesterday was fairly kind of, but not really, emotional. Like my hormones are all wonky and I could feel my emotions right beneth the surface, but I wasn't really able to reach them.

Today I haven't really felt anything. Maybe anger. I've been kinda angry. I guess. I think it is anger. I am not completely sure what it is. But mostly just sluggish and morose (sp?).

I get very lazy and just want to stay in bed all of the time when my social meter goes down. It's only when I feel satisfied socially that I am truely feel some kind of bliss.

Unfortunately, it's like a drug, though. This need for social connection. When I get it I don't want to stop, but yet everyone else wants to stop. So then it ends, and I am left lonely and bored again, and just want to sulk in bed.

I need to find someone who will stay up with me and help be my social outlet. I am never tired when I have company. Yet I am always exhausted when I am alone.

Ah well...I guess that aspirin is looking pretty tempting right now. Night....

~C~