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its been a while. i've spent a lot of time around the world over the last year. and yet here i am back. China, india, vegas and the likes of some dirty hotels in the heartland its been a strange and wonderful year. hopefully next year will be near as good.

i know this is bullshit but i was tired of the last entry

bah. bok ooo aaa
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so today makes four years since my last contact with her. it's a little sick how i can still feel the way i do but somehow i cared about her. i still do but could never tell her. hell i dont even know how anymore.
cereal_killer:
ok, not enough people active in the UpstateSGNY Group for my liking so i'm going around letting people know that there are new members to the group who would feel more welcome if they actually got a few "welcomes."

also, i'm trying to get a darien lake event around for end of aug/beginning of sept possibly. check out the thread in the group for more info and let me know what you think.

C_K
your new (slightly pushier, but well intended) group owner biggrin

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i love being home. the drink. the friends. the life. i can't wait to have a life of my own again.

anyway the insane amount of traveling i have done in the last few months is past its climax. the trip to boston was by far the most enjoyable, although not the dream that i lived in vegas. i head out again soon then home...
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if you ever get the chance to see corb lund play ... just go!
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the last few months have been so insane.

in the last two weeks i have been left to my own devices until tonight. such an interesting contrast. i have made much music and many words over the past few weeks now i have to examine the words and find my truth.

it is such a strange world to not be able to leave a house...
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blueberry tea. im in love, now i just need to get rid of the girl
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just cant seem to get it done
blackeyed
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i just dont know anymore.

every time i try to plan something or get something done it gets fucked up. i have no excuse for why things just dont work right now, but i cant seem to have any luck these days.

old friends, either i have grown and they still play the same games we played 6 years ago or i have gone back...
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last week an old friend came out and we talked a while and i was willing to allow him back into my life as a friend. as of tonight i say fuck that. such a child, he still plays the games that will end up hurting himself and others but somehow he cant realize that he's not moving on as much as he's moving back....
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so im sitting in the office, as always cnn is on the television when they a breaking news flash comes plane crash in toronto. being a mere 15 minutes from the airport this caught my attention. and now for the i hate american fear mongering bullshit rant --- it took less than three minutes for the reporter to ask is this a terrorist attack. FUCK...
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I guess i havent been around much lately. I'm now busy working a new job, have a girlfiend that i hate but can't break up with and overall am for the first time in a years looking forward to the next few months. Soon to be out of debt, just to go back in but atleast i'll have a house to show for it, and...
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i dont know why im here anymore.

i never really fit in with anyone, but back when i joined sg i felt like the people here somehow were on the same page as me, now its almost as if the sg members are "to cool" to hang out. i've been here for almost three years now, with the exception of when i was in africa,...
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