chronas

Worst.. cold/flu ever. Not sure what it is... but my throat and nostrils are raw.. blood in my mucus, and I get insanely bad head pains every time I cough (which is fucking always). I can barely breathe, and I don't really care to, as my throat hurts worse than it ever has.

Aside from no money to make it to urgent care (and my...
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So much to write about...
Sick as hell.. I think I have swine flu, to be perfectly honest. Must have gotten it in the airport on the way home from the holidays. Woke up this morning violently, couldn't breathe... face hurt... nostrils burning. Being sick blows donkeys.

Holiday vacation was good, though. Got to see all of my friends. Had a blast on new years....
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It's been a while. I've not been on SG often as of late, mainly to check my email and reply to those of you who have written. Things have calmed down a bit in my life, so I should be back on more often now.

And on a brighter note, I got another puppy. Yay. Her and her bigger brother are getting along well, and...
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There is nothing.
Absolutely no way for me to shake the thoughts of her from my mind.
Every moment.. every breath.. every pulse of what is left of my heart grieves for her touch.
And yet, vacancy is all I know. I dream of a time when I was engulfed by her tender soul.. and there is nothing I am able to do to replace...
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Life is precious. No matter what you believe, or don't believe in, everyone deserves a long, healthy time on this wonderful earth. Cherish it.

Grant me the strength to accept the things that I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

So, I'd like to apologize to everyone for not being on here more often.
BOTH of my computers went out. One lost a power supply, and my main computer's motherboard burnt up.
I'm able to get on to check this now, daily, at least but I'm horribly far behind... so, let's catch up everyone

Oh. Where do I start.
Today was enlightening, to say the least.
I have not painted a house in years. If you can even say that I ever have, save for bits and pieces here and there.
Let me just say this. I was not prepared. I am living proof that you can get latex interior paint in places you didn't even know exist on...
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Cannot sleep... mind racing, with nowhere to go.
Lost.. absent.. void.
I am not coherent. It does not make sense. I do not even know what I am trying to clarify.

Eyelids bring false joy. Tomorrow is here, yet it is farther away than I can reach.

Weary, I imagine myself, yet I cannot put myself in a place of rest.

This evening twists itself...
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So I've spent most of this week looking for a job.
Actually, I lied. I spent most of this week dicking around on the internet, wishing that I was looking for a job. Any suggestions on places to apply, that treat their workers well? This shit is disconcerting at best.

I have to break down every once in a while. Is it horrible to eat meat, if only once every few months? I just can't kick my cravings for In N Out Burger..

Starting to get sick.. and I am not sure why..
and it's one of those nights where I get randomly lonely for no apparent reason..
I don't understand it.. I am fine alone.... I was built to be alone. but it's unexplainable.