christfm

And Bam.. I'm single.. yeah.. just like that.

I can't say I didn't see coming. The wierd thing is by the end of the conversation I wanted her like I did when we first met. I wanted to be near her.. in her presence.

But now.. while I write this, I feel pretty fucking empty inside. I feel like I've been here before. I feel hope that maybe.. just maybe I could keep her around. I've had too many girlfriends over the past two years. But I felt like this one could of been right.. could still be write. I know I don't want to lose her.. but I've felt that before too. So I'm pretty mixed up inside. In the past 20 minutes I've felt alot of things.. sadness.. emptiness.. happiness.. disgusted.. anger.. disapointment.. hope.. love.. hopelessness..

Here's something random and ironic.. I changed my status on here from looking to not looking.. just a few hours before I talked to Molly.. and I'm not trying to make you feel like shit.. Cuz I thinks it laughable. It's funny how fast things can change in your life.. the way you feel.. the thoughts in your head.. where you live.. your job.. your loves.. even the way you percieve things.

Sometimes.. I wish I could just forget things.. wake up.. Not remember who you are, the people you love, the people that hurt you, the things in life that keep you down..

.. I wonder if I would just repeat the same thing over.. and over.. and over..