Something like the fading of a dull trance and Im standing outside the gas station under almost greenlit flourescent lights staring at the concrete, slightly aware of someone walking past me (over to my right.) He seems like hes drunk. I personally, have only had a beer, but its come at the end of a two hour skate session on top of no sleep and no eating, and now Im lightheaded and unsure of exactly what it is that Im doing. Its right around midnight and I once again have that otherworldly sense of something important paying attention to myself with that sense of no really, do you realize who I am? (yet Im keeping my celebrity to myself blanked out tight under strict lock and key.) At the skatepark earlier tonight I bailed a frontside grind on one of the ramps in the street course. I ran out of it casually, though I didnt realize my board was right behind me. It nailed me right in the softspot of my achilles something I blew off at the time, though now, a few hours later, is killing me. My shoe is rubbing right smackdab in the middle of this ugly swollen bruise almost in a good way almost like purposely picking at a hangnail and vaguely enjoying the pain. Im limping across the parkinglot battlescarred and slightly self-righteous thinking of Dwayne earlier tonight. He may very well be a meth-head these days. His mind was all over the place. He was talking distracted, rambling scattered thoughts nonstop with nothing in mind. Im standing in the middle of the streetcourse listening to him almost in awe almost starstruck, only part of me cant help but remember it wasnt that long ago that he was a pain in the ass little kid, bumming rides off me cause he didnt have a car (and still doesnt, though now hes in his late twenties.) Im amazed that his insanity has taken on an air of sophistication. Hes crazy, yet dignified and charming. Everything he says is hilarious and people crowd around just to hear him talk. People know him. Hes had plenty of coverage in Transworld and Thrasher, not to mention ESPN though it should be pointed out that he was the kid who bitched through his entire interview the host is simply trying to ask him questions about the newfound popularity of skateboarding and hes complaining incessantly that ESPN never cared about skating until it was an obnoxious fad just another t.v. network jumping on the fucking bandwagon something I thought was cheesy and made fun of something he later admitted was dumb, telling me how hed been drinking all day cause the event was catered and the beer was free. But now hes reached some new level of genius. Hes talking to me like an excited child. Hes pointing at this that and the other thing, calling his tricks ahead of time, insisting that I watch him. He rushes off, hits a backside 180 kickflip over the hip, tailslides the quarter pipe, and nosegrinds the longbox, hurrying back to me to tell me a story of how he gave skating lessons to a four year old girl whos father was a total dick, and whos mother was really hot she was probably about 25 or 26. The night fades on brisk and cold. Were in the blacked out parkinglot after closing time and hes insisting that I have to start skating again. (This was my first day back after a ten year absence a decade I unintentionally dedicated to drinking instead of skating.) I tell him Ill probably see him on the weekend. His girlfriend picks him up. I drive to a bar, have one beer and then drive to the gas station near my house where I buy a twelvepack and pause spacey for a second while staring at the concrete. I head home and drink my beers while listening to music on the computer.
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thanks for checkin' on me.
i really appreciate it.