being in the ocean during sunrise one morning and inside a poorly-lit blue-hued video editing bay the next has had some extremely disheartening effects on my heart and soul and are making me want to make rash, pre-mature decisions like quitting my job and playing the lottery and taking out a business loan to buy a silk screening press and fund this dream my friends and i all share of having Choonimals spread over earth like the plague, but like, one that doesn't do that whole murder thing.
while i was camping in the outerbanks with all of these fools i've grown up with since elementary school...
...i realized a few things, like i need to live in a place where the air is full of saltwater and not pollen or mold from stinkyass dandelions and dead rotting leaves. the level of happiness i have out there is enough to drive me completely mad and ruin every day i spend couped up in a building editing award shows for people wearing ties. now i could stand editing videos and working for a company like Volcom or RVCA or anything that promotes the same lifestyle i live and doesn't have me getting yelled at for not having a collared shirt on and wearing sandals even though my feet have like 9th degree burns on them from the fucking supernova of a sun that was over my head all weekend (i will host you anyday, burn). i don't want the lifestyle i have now, i don't want a schedule, i want to do whatever i want to do and be wherever i want to be without any consequences because even though i just turned 24 i still feel like a kid and god knows i sure as hell have the heart of one, i dont ever want to be a fucking drip in a tie and plus i only have one singular tie and it was from my ex girlfriend and it still has wine and beer stains all over it because i wont wash it. so this just isn't going to work out, clearly.
and speaking of my birthday, here is a picture of some of us on the exact second i turned a year older, after passing around the ol' whiskey bottle i love to loathe...
the best part of the entire trip was the campires we had every night on the beach (picture segue!)...
...and looking up at the sky at 2am and seeing a black void littered/covered/pulsing with so many stars that there isnt even a number that exists to represent them all. it made me think of this phenomenon i read about called "the overview effect". it's basically something that astronauts have described experiencing when orbiting the earth and looking back down onto it. they described it as an overwhelmingly sense of euphoria and a feeling of oneness with every atom and molecule that makes up our universe. this phenomenon is unexplainable yet is exhibited by a majority of astronauts put in the position to look down on everything we call life. i really, really, want that. thinking about it makes me feel calm and want to smile at all the bullshit problems and complaints i was just bitching about. the other thing that makes me feel that calmy feeling thing are the bands M83 and Explosions in the Sky. i've been listening to them all damn day, every damn day which is very bittersweet because i almost feel like im gonna have an anxiety attack every time i listen to them because they make me have so many life-thoughts i can't help but dive in.
oh, and the first night we were setting up a campire, there was a family a couple yards down from us spreading someones ashes into the ocean, and the woman im assuming was the mother collapsed while she bawled her eyes out and had to be carried out of the ocean. her husband stood there, knee deep in the ocean and even as wave after wave crashed into him he still stood there, looking out at the horizon. broke my heart.
so, im done tangenting. this was supposed to be about my trip. which by the way i bought myself a kick-ass, hand-made shred-stick from a yard sale for $25. here's a picture of me open mouth kissing it:
lastly, and because im doubting anyone bothered to read this entire thing, in fact i will pay you $20 if you did, just let me know and i will email it to you or something (get it thats impossible because im lying and i wont pay you anything but it would be nice to know people still read things that don't fit in nutshells).
the end.
oh yea and if any of you are in the area and happen-chance to read this you should come to this on friday:
while i was camping in the outerbanks with all of these fools i've grown up with since elementary school...
...i realized a few things, like i need to live in a place where the air is full of saltwater and not pollen or mold from stinkyass dandelions and dead rotting leaves. the level of happiness i have out there is enough to drive me completely mad and ruin every day i spend couped up in a building editing award shows for people wearing ties. now i could stand editing videos and working for a company like Volcom or RVCA or anything that promotes the same lifestyle i live and doesn't have me getting yelled at for not having a collared shirt on and wearing sandals even though my feet have like 9th degree burns on them from the fucking supernova of a sun that was over my head all weekend (i will host you anyday, burn). i don't want the lifestyle i have now, i don't want a schedule, i want to do whatever i want to do and be wherever i want to be without any consequences because even though i just turned 24 i still feel like a kid and god knows i sure as hell have the heart of one, i dont ever want to be a fucking drip in a tie and plus i only have one singular tie and it was from my ex girlfriend and it still has wine and beer stains all over it because i wont wash it. so this just isn't going to work out, clearly.
and speaking of my birthday, here is a picture of some of us on the exact second i turned a year older, after passing around the ol' whiskey bottle i love to loathe...
the best part of the entire trip was the campires we had every night on the beach (picture segue!)...
...and looking up at the sky at 2am and seeing a black void littered/covered/pulsing with so many stars that there isnt even a number that exists to represent them all. it made me think of this phenomenon i read about called "the overview effect". it's basically something that astronauts have described experiencing when orbiting the earth and looking back down onto it. they described it as an overwhelmingly sense of euphoria and a feeling of oneness with every atom and molecule that makes up our universe. this phenomenon is unexplainable yet is exhibited by a majority of astronauts put in the position to look down on everything we call life. i really, really, want that. thinking about it makes me feel calm and want to smile at all the bullshit problems and complaints i was just bitching about. the other thing that makes me feel that calmy feeling thing are the bands M83 and Explosions in the Sky. i've been listening to them all damn day, every damn day which is very bittersweet because i almost feel like im gonna have an anxiety attack every time i listen to them because they make me have so many life-thoughts i can't help but dive in.
oh, and the first night we were setting up a campire, there was a family a couple yards down from us spreading someones ashes into the ocean, and the woman im assuming was the mother collapsed while she bawled her eyes out and had to be carried out of the ocean. her husband stood there, knee deep in the ocean and even as wave after wave crashed into him he still stood there, looking out at the horizon. broke my heart.
so, im done tangenting. this was supposed to be about my trip. which by the way i bought myself a kick-ass, hand-made shred-stick from a yard sale for $25. here's a picture of me open mouth kissing it:
lastly, and because im doubting anyone bothered to read this entire thing, in fact i will pay you $20 if you did, just let me know and i will email it to you or something (get it thats impossible because im lying and i wont pay you anything but it would be nice to know people still read things that don't fit in nutshells).
the end.
oh yea and if any of you are in the area and happen-chance to read this you should come to this on friday:
monroe:
Ricky told me to tell you that you are the one that looks like a picka with that bandana on your head. I'm not sure about Havana. I would really like to go but funds are verrrrrry low these days. I'm trying though!