My thoughts on hot weather are borrowed:
"What are you, fuckin reptiles? I'm a mammal. I can afford scarves and sweaters"
-Bill Hicks -
RIP
My AC gets bound in garbage bags and cardboard every winter - ghetto insulation. And each winter some urban critter makes it their home. Last year it was squirrels. This year, birds. This year, a family of them.
Now, there i am smack in the middle of a heat wave with a perfectly functioning air conditioner that i can't use.
Why? Am i so considerate and kindred with nature that i wouldn't drop kick those birds south? Nope. there were eggs in the nest. Sure, i thought, "great! omlets," (a bird embryo is a bird embryo, sorry) but no i couldn't do it.
They hatched, i watched them grow, feed off of their mother's spew (you women really get a raw deal in this procreation thing) and when they could fly, i descended on their nest like Godzilla. THey weren't in the nest at the time, but my kindness had worn thin. I was showering a minimum of three times a day, laying butt-naked in bed till three in the morning because of the heat, i just couldn't take it anymore.
The Birds are gone, and i hope that somewhere above an accurate karma tally-sheet is being kept. My AC manages to keep me moderately cool. But, now i am concerned about a few things: 1. Is this premature heatwave (it is technically spring) any indication of the summer to come. 2. How many weekends will i spend at home because of it. 3. What the hell will nest on my AC next year.
"i don't like the beach; Everybody has perfect tans and white teeth, I have white skin and tan teeth."
- Bill Hicks -
"What are you, fuckin reptiles? I'm a mammal. I can afford scarves and sweaters"
-Bill Hicks -
RIP
My AC gets bound in garbage bags and cardboard every winter - ghetto insulation. And each winter some urban critter makes it their home. Last year it was squirrels. This year, birds. This year, a family of them.
Now, there i am smack in the middle of a heat wave with a perfectly functioning air conditioner that i can't use.
Why? Am i so considerate and kindred with nature that i wouldn't drop kick those birds south? Nope. there were eggs in the nest. Sure, i thought, "great! omlets," (a bird embryo is a bird embryo, sorry) but no i couldn't do it.
They hatched, i watched them grow, feed off of their mother's spew (you women really get a raw deal in this procreation thing) and when they could fly, i descended on their nest like Godzilla. THey weren't in the nest at the time, but my kindness had worn thin. I was showering a minimum of three times a day, laying butt-naked in bed till three in the morning because of the heat, i just couldn't take it anymore.
The Birds are gone, and i hope that somewhere above an accurate karma tally-sheet is being kept. My AC manages to keep me moderately cool. But, now i am concerned about a few things: 1. Is this premature heatwave (it is technically spring) any indication of the summer to come. 2. How many weekends will i spend at home because of it. 3. What the hell will nest on my AC next year.
"i don't like the beach; Everybody has perfect tans and white teeth, I have white skin and tan teeth."
- Bill Hicks -
VIEW 7 of 7 COMMENTS
serene:
I fucking LOVED the Oregon Trail!! I was playing my PS2 and actually missing Oregon Trail Yesterday! Crazzzzy! 
molly:
I knew that was you in the smurf T-shirt. Be ashamed!