I wanna get married.
Statistics show that first marriages have a high probability for ending in divorce. This fact neither stopping nor hindering the impetuosity of couples to marry leads me to believe that in the future getting married will be like going steady.
By probability alone it increases the liklihood of your second marriage lasting longer. Imagine how long the third will last!
My first Marriage:
I want to rent a big purple cadillac with zebra fabric interior. Fuzzy dice from the rear-view and hoola-dancer on the dashboard are a given. I'll shoot down to trash and vaudville and buy myself a thick coarse brown linen suit with leopard trimmed cuffs and collar. My Gal will be draped in the trampiest short cut wedding dress. I'll probably insist she wear a shimmering Blue or pink wig.
From there (or rather from here) we hop into the caddie and throw our luggage in the trunk. Our cargo being nothing more than two, petite, hardshell suitcases that look like they were made out of tapestry. Our destination, Las Vegas.
We arrive at a Heart-shaped chapel and are greeted by a 50 year old lady heavily plastered with make-up. She wears her hair in a massive volume headress and smiles excessivley. We are brought before the minister/Elvis impersonator who is going to marry us. He has rushed out from his dressing room to meet us (i guess business has been slow). i can tell he was in a rush because he is jittery and has some white powder on his nose which he is unsuccessfully trying to wipe clean. At this point he is already making with the trademark swinging elvis hips and shaky leg, but i don't think he is aware of it.
We take our places, are married, have sex in the caddillac (top down of course) going top speed down the strip to one of the cascino's of H. Thompson fame. We gamble till the sun comes up - throwing down hard liquor and taking periodic breaks to go the bathroom to further consumate our vows - then crawl back up to our hotel room.
I'd rather not think about the morning after.
But isn't that always the case.
Statistics show that first marriages have a high probability for ending in divorce. This fact neither stopping nor hindering the impetuosity of couples to marry leads me to believe that in the future getting married will be like going steady.
By probability alone it increases the liklihood of your second marriage lasting longer. Imagine how long the third will last!
My first Marriage:
I want to rent a big purple cadillac with zebra fabric interior. Fuzzy dice from the rear-view and hoola-dancer on the dashboard are a given. I'll shoot down to trash and vaudville and buy myself a thick coarse brown linen suit with leopard trimmed cuffs and collar. My Gal will be draped in the trampiest short cut wedding dress. I'll probably insist she wear a shimmering Blue or pink wig.
From there (or rather from here) we hop into the caddie and throw our luggage in the trunk. Our cargo being nothing more than two, petite, hardshell suitcases that look like they were made out of tapestry. Our destination, Las Vegas.
We arrive at a Heart-shaped chapel and are greeted by a 50 year old lady heavily plastered with make-up. She wears her hair in a massive volume headress and smiles excessivley. We are brought before the minister/Elvis impersonator who is going to marry us. He has rushed out from his dressing room to meet us (i guess business has been slow). i can tell he was in a rush because he is jittery and has some white powder on his nose which he is unsuccessfully trying to wipe clean. At this point he is already making with the trademark swinging elvis hips and shaky leg, but i don't think he is aware of it.
We take our places, are married, have sex in the caddillac (top down of course) going top speed down the strip to one of the cascino's of H. Thompson fame. We gamble till the sun comes up - throwing down hard liquor and taking periodic breaks to go the bathroom to further consumate our vows - then crawl back up to our hotel room.
I'd rather not think about the morning after.
But isn't that always the case.
VIEW 5 of 5 COMMENTS
pissed:
Yes it was a literal reference
howdidigethere:
good luck with that