I really don't like the online editor at the paper i work for. she always has an eye to roll at everything. Anyway, a few days ago in the morning meeting, she got on the subject that texas is old.....???....cuz, you know, nothing else in the u.s. is old...
I said they have the alamo and it still has bullet holes in it. that is pretty old. Heffer (name has been changed to protect no one. I don't like her, so I dub thee Heffer. like i always say..if the shoe fits, buy it.) added "Yeah, and Ozzy Osbourne urinated on it." (who says Urinated???) I laffed my ass off....cuz that is fuckin funny. She got all wound upand stated that I should not laugh at that.
"I'm a fifth generation texan and some of us take things like that very seriously," Heffer said.
whooptie fuckin doo dah....My great grammy was 100% Cherokee....I win.
I actually said that to her. I win. I said that. so it is third grade...I don't care.
anyway, I continued to laff because she got her bra strap in a twist over something she isn't even old enough to remember. She was about one when he did that. Hell, I'm not even old enough to remember it. And, if you're lame enough to get your tampon stuck over it, then you're a moron. She was hardly old enough to remember...meaning she was harldy old enough to get all worked up over it.
At the end of the meeting, one of my editors asked what i was going to work on. I replied with an incredibly loud "I'm gonna google pictures of Ozzy pissin on the alamo." Heffer glared at me one final time and stomped off to her pasture. (and she really did stomp. you can hear her walking all the way from my desk in the far corner of the batcave.)
Moral of the story: If you tell someone with numerous tattoos and a mohawk that Ozzy whizzed on the Alamo (in his wife's dress, nonetheless) you should expect that person will laugh. And, that person doens't give a monkey's cunt about what gen. of texan you are. If you're a 5th gener, then you know just how truly boring texas is, don't you.
P.S. she also likes to comment about recycling, etc. She told my editor that we should use both sides of paper and that recycling puts lots of fumes into the environment. I asked her; "do you drive to work? "
You can tell she doesn't walk or ride a bike just by lookin at her...
She said "yes"
so I said" so you are part of the problem and not the solution..."
she shut her muzzle.
I said they have the alamo and it still has bullet holes in it. that is pretty old. Heffer (name has been changed to protect no one. I don't like her, so I dub thee Heffer. like i always say..if the shoe fits, buy it.) added "Yeah, and Ozzy Osbourne urinated on it." (who says Urinated???) I laffed my ass off....cuz that is fuckin funny. She got all wound upand stated that I should not laugh at that.
"I'm a fifth generation texan and some of us take things like that very seriously," Heffer said.
whooptie fuckin doo dah....My great grammy was 100% Cherokee....I win.
I actually said that to her. I win. I said that. so it is third grade...I don't care.
anyway, I continued to laff because she got her bra strap in a twist over something she isn't even old enough to remember. She was about one when he did that. Hell, I'm not even old enough to remember it. And, if you're lame enough to get your tampon stuck over it, then you're a moron. She was hardly old enough to remember...meaning she was harldy old enough to get all worked up over it.
At the end of the meeting, one of my editors asked what i was going to work on. I replied with an incredibly loud "I'm gonna google pictures of Ozzy pissin on the alamo." Heffer glared at me one final time and stomped off to her pasture. (and she really did stomp. you can hear her walking all the way from my desk in the far corner of the batcave.)
Moral of the story: If you tell someone with numerous tattoos and a mohawk that Ozzy whizzed on the Alamo (in his wife's dress, nonetheless) you should expect that person will laugh. And, that person doens't give a monkey's cunt about what gen. of texan you are. If you're a 5th gener, then you know just how truly boring texas is, don't you.
P.S. she also likes to comment about recycling, etc. She told my editor that we should use both sides of paper and that recycling puts lots of fumes into the environment. I asked her; "do you drive to work? "
You can tell she doesn't walk or ride a bike just by lookin at her...
She said "yes"
so I said" so you are part of the problem and not the solution..."
she shut her muzzle.
VIEW 9 of 9 COMMENTS
avianblade said:
(which, as I recall, they really didn't do much about in the first place)
actually Ozzy was banned from performing in the city of san antonio for 10 yrs.
but from what i understand, the city BEGGED him to come back (thusly increasing its revenues) before the 10 yrs was even up. so tell the heffer is SA chose $$ over "texas pride" she needs to get her damn panties out of a bunch.