The other day I posted this in a group i am a member of. Since it has become a part of who I am, I felt it only proper to also place it in my blog.
"MAR 12, 2007 04:52 PM
So i'll go now...I'm Cheyenne Suicide. I was drugged and raped by god knows how many of MY OWN FUCKING SOLDIERS right after hurricane katrina relief ended for my unit. I have no clue what happened. all i remember is that i woke up in my hotel room alone, wearing a t shirt and undies. about 3 weeks later, i found out i was pregnant. I was an absolute mess. my mom flew out to be with me two days later because my husband at the time was in afghanistan. I just recently (as in this is week 2) started counseling and told my mom what really happened. I also found out later from a female soldier whom i thought was my friend that the males had a betting pool going on. some bastard made 100 bucks to do that to me and one other girl apparently. the female that told me about this is no longer my friend due to the fact that she would not give me any names. (if she knew about the pool, she had to know at least one person involved.) I also had to bear the burden of telling my ex husband about it...the reply was "i won't support you or a baby that isn't mine" when i tried to report it to the Camp Pendleton police, i was told I got drunk and got laid. Interesting since I don't drink....
i now despise the army, i have little trust for people and well, i'm divorced. the anniversary was just recently and i had hit a serious low point...i didn't take my dog outside or even clean up his pee for over a month...figured it was time to stop playing the role of the victim and start playing the role of the survivor. People close to me ask why i did Suicide Girls after all this. My response is simply this: It empowers me and i have a kick ass community of people on here who would totally whoop some ass for me. AND if these bastards wanna look at me nekkid, now they have to pay monthly membership to do it and it is on MY GODDAMN terms!!!"
there's a name for some one who uses drugs to get sex.....RAPIST!! "
Today I made another big decision...I requested to be released from active duty and administratively dropped from the language school. I will soon be moving to Texas where my fiancee lives and will be working to put what is left of the pieces of my life back together. Hopefully, before i go, i"ll be able to pull off another set with Taye and Glenn. They are amazing people and have really given me so much more than they realize just by being my friends. (and, not to mention, two of the most amazing photographers ever...in the history of amazing photographers!!) I love California and I WILL be moving back here after Jeff gets out of the military this october...but we are pushing for San Diego. Diego is the rockin-est city on the face of the planet and L.A. isn't too far away. But, San Fran will always have a special place in my soul because, well, i think it is probably the 4th rockin-est city on the face of the planet...ok...here's the order of rockin-est cities...(at least, that i have been to)
1. San Diego
2. Las Vegas
3. L.A.
4. San Fran
5. London
6. Paris
7. Dallas
maybe i will be able to add to that list someday...who knows?
And, my dog decided it was a fun idea to piss on my wireless router so now i get to go to the bookstore to get online. dammit....but i still love my doggie...tha lil' piss machine.
I also want to add this quote that someone placed on a previous blog from Nelson Mandela. I really really like it...
FEB 02, 2007 09:08 PM
From Nelson Mandela...
"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.
We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?
Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God.
Your playing small does not serve the world.
There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you.
We are all meant to shine, as children do.
We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us.
It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.
As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."
think i should ink it????
"MAR 12, 2007 04:52 PM
So i'll go now...I'm Cheyenne Suicide. I was drugged and raped by god knows how many of MY OWN FUCKING SOLDIERS right after hurricane katrina relief ended for my unit. I have no clue what happened. all i remember is that i woke up in my hotel room alone, wearing a t shirt and undies. about 3 weeks later, i found out i was pregnant. I was an absolute mess. my mom flew out to be with me two days later because my husband at the time was in afghanistan. I just recently (as in this is week 2) started counseling and told my mom what really happened. I also found out later from a female soldier whom i thought was my friend that the males had a betting pool going on. some bastard made 100 bucks to do that to me and one other girl apparently. the female that told me about this is no longer my friend due to the fact that she would not give me any names. (if she knew about the pool, she had to know at least one person involved.) I also had to bear the burden of telling my ex husband about it...the reply was "i won't support you or a baby that isn't mine" when i tried to report it to the Camp Pendleton police, i was told I got drunk and got laid. Interesting since I don't drink....
i now despise the army, i have little trust for people and well, i'm divorced. the anniversary was just recently and i had hit a serious low point...i didn't take my dog outside or even clean up his pee for over a month...figured it was time to stop playing the role of the victim and start playing the role of the survivor. People close to me ask why i did Suicide Girls after all this. My response is simply this: It empowers me and i have a kick ass community of people on here who would totally whoop some ass for me. AND if these bastards wanna look at me nekkid, now they have to pay monthly membership to do it and it is on MY GODDAMN terms!!!"
there's a name for some one who uses drugs to get sex.....RAPIST!! "
Today I made another big decision...I requested to be released from active duty and administratively dropped from the language school. I will soon be moving to Texas where my fiancee lives and will be working to put what is left of the pieces of my life back together. Hopefully, before i go, i"ll be able to pull off another set with Taye and Glenn. They are amazing people and have really given me so much more than they realize just by being my friends. (and, not to mention, two of the most amazing photographers ever...in the history of amazing photographers!!) I love California and I WILL be moving back here after Jeff gets out of the military this october...but we are pushing for San Diego. Diego is the rockin-est city on the face of the planet and L.A. isn't too far away. But, San Fran will always have a special place in my soul because, well, i think it is probably the 4th rockin-est city on the face of the planet...ok...here's the order of rockin-est cities...(at least, that i have been to)
1. San Diego
2. Las Vegas
3. L.A.
4. San Fran
5. London
6. Paris
7. Dallas
maybe i will be able to add to that list someday...who knows?
And, my dog decided it was a fun idea to piss on my wireless router so now i get to go to the bookstore to get online. dammit....but i still love my doggie...tha lil' piss machine.
I also want to add this quote that someone placed on a previous blog from Nelson Mandela. I really really like it...
FEB 02, 2007 09:08 PM
From Nelson Mandela...
"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.
We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?
Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God.
Your playing small does not serve the world.
There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you.
We are all meant to shine, as children do.
We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us.
It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.
As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."
think i should ink it????
VIEW 25 of 25 COMMENTS
i am so happy for you that you are working through and past this horrible thing that happened to you. and wish you all the luck and happiness in the world in the future and with your new fiance. i can only hope that he is better then the last guy!
good luck and happy thoughts!
I hope you have fun with Taye and Glenn again. Maybe you guys will go somewhere where he doesn't have to hold up the sheet!