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chevvy

Quesnel, BC.

Hopeful Since 2009

Followers 2182 Following 70

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Thursday Nov 25, 2010

Nov 25, 2010
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Aaaahhh the snow is falling outside again, and I can't believe I'm alone.
Around this time last year, Mitch and I were building those DIY ginger bread houses and watching Disney Movies.

It makes me sad.

I was doing so well up until the snow started to fall and I felt more alone. I wish I didn't feel so alone. I know it's not forever, and that perhaps I don't even really miss him, that I'm just lonely... but I've had offers from other dudes lately, and I'm just not into it.

Despite all of Mitch's "dealbreakers" in our relationship, he was still the person who knew me best. Who could see through the crappiness when I was being a jerk and still manage to love me even when I sucked big time.

I know it sounds lame-o, but I wish I could see him at Christmas time. I wish he would come along and buy me flowers again, and play in the snow with Iggy and I.
I wish we could cuddle up again with hot chocolate and watch movies in our underwear. I even miss his yucky chest hair and the way he laughs when he REALLY laughs.

Sorry this is so lame, but I just had to get it out. It's been bugging me today with the snow looking to pretty outside.

And I can't text or call him, because at this point, I don't think I could make it through knowing he's either:
a.) with someone else.
b.) moved on completely with his life.
c.) doesn't miss me at all.

I guess it's just better not to know? In this situation anyways.

Maybe the reason all of this hurts is because Mitch isn't really the one for me, and I just have to accept it.
It sucks greatly, but I guess the important thing to note is that if I meant anything to him by now, he'd have come looking for me.

frown

Oh dear.

Well onto some more... interesting news.
We've been doing a lot of training at work lately. I feel like I have so much to accomplish and yet so little time to do it.
Almost like I'm running on ice, and not really moving?

My leadership style is so different from everyone elses, that I don't know if mine really works.
Or... not that mine doesn't work, but I guess cause it's different from what people are used to experienceing.

The shittiest thing about everything right now is that I'll be spending Christmas day alone.
Last year I spent it with Mitchs family and then my own at dinner time, but this year my family goes to Silver Star and I can't go. frown

So I guess it's just me and the Iggy. Which isn't bad, since he'll be largely who I'm shopping for anyways. Haha, my new puppy.

Hope all of you are having an awesome snow day.

Better than mine at least...

-Chevvy

P.S.
At the top of my Christmas wishlist...

My actual wishlist...
Christmas Wishlist
VIEW 6 of 6 COMMENTS
user2938756:
It's really funny actually, everyone over on the Island is so scared of the snow that they barricade themselves in their houses. It means that if you actually feel like going out it's so easy to shop! It's wonderful. biggrin
Nov 27, 2010
mylene:
Hugs to you
Nov 30, 2010

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