So, I broke up with M.
I could tell his heart wasn't 100% in our relationship, and he wasn't putting any work into it, and although I love him very much... (more than anyone) I just can't be in a relationship where my boyfriend doesn't seem to like me and I'm afraid he's going to hurt me or break up with me all the time.
It's been really hard. I cried a lot, and so did he, but we both agreed, that if he really wants to be with me he'll go sort himself out and come back when he's ready. I guess we'll see.
I'm not holding my breath. I did last time and it ended up that I got what I wanted... M back, but this time... I don't feel regretful. I don't feel like this was my fault. I'm a good person.
I work hard, I take care of myself and I have goals and dreams. I love my friends and family and take care of everyone around me all the time. If anything, this time I feel like it's his fault.
Or rather, his loss.
I'm not sure what the future will bring for M and I, or whether it will bring anything at all, but I do know I'm exhausted from trying to keep my relationship together, and that I feel a bit of relief that I don't have to worry or try so hard anymore.
Why give 110% if the other person is only putting in 50% or less?
Don't get me wrong, I acknowledge that I still love him and I have a long way to go in the method of getting over him, (if I ever do) but I realize this time that I can't curl up in the fetal position and die. I have to keep breathing, keep working, keep pushing for what I want in my life. And I can't give up just because he can't see that I'm a real catch.
I hope hes okay though, I'm not a mean hearted person.
And I got to keep my dog, Iggy, and he'll keep me happy and occupied for the time being.
Hope all of you are having a better hump day than I am!
I love you all! And keep voting for His Shirt in MR! I want to see it reach 800 hits! It would be so awesome!
XOXOXOX
-Chevvy
I could tell his heart wasn't 100% in our relationship, and he wasn't putting any work into it, and although I love him very much... (more than anyone) I just can't be in a relationship where my boyfriend doesn't seem to like me and I'm afraid he's going to hurt me or break up with me all the time.
It's been really hard. I cried a lot, and so did he, but we both agreed, that if he really wants to be with me he'll go sort himself out and come back when he's ready. I guess we'll see.
I'm not holding my breath. I did last time and it ended up that I got what I wanted... M back, but this time... I don't feel regretful. I don't feel like this was my fault. I'm a good person.
I work hard, I take care of myself and I have goals and dreams. I love my friends and family and take care of everyone around me all the time. If anything, this time I feel like it's his fault.
Or rather, his loss.
I'm not sure what the future will bring for M and I, or whether it will bring anything at all, but I do know I'm exhausted from trying to keep my relationship together, and that I feel a bit of relief that I don't have to worry or try so hard anymore.
Why give 110% if the other person is only putting in 50% or less?
Don't get me wrong, I acknowledge that I still love him and I have a long way to go in the method of getting over him, (if I ever do) but I realize this time that I can't curl up in the fetal position and die. I have to keep breathing, keep working, keep pushing for what I want in my life. And I can't give up just because he can't see that I'm a real catch.
I hope hes okay though, I'm not a mean hearted person.
And I got to keep my dog, Iggy, and he'll keep me happy and occupied for the time being.
Hope all of you are having a better hump day than I am!
I love you all! And keep voting for His Shirt in MR! I want to see it reach 800 hits! It would be so awesome!
XOXOXOX
-Chevvy
VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
I wanted to thank you for your love on my set, but it feels silly to see on the tail of your blog.
Thinking of you.
xoxox