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chevvy

Quesnel, BC.

Hopeful Since 2009

Followers 2182 Following 70

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Wednesday Sep 22, 2010

Sep 22, 2010
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So, I broke up with M.

I could tell his heart wasn't 100% in our relationship, and he wasn't putting any work into it, and although I love him very much... (more than anyone) I just can't be in a relationship where my boyfriend doesn't seem to like me and I'm afraid he's going to hurt me or break up with me all the time.

It's been really hard. I cried a lot, and so did he, but we both agreed, that if he really wants to be with me he'll go sort himself out and come back when he's ready. I guess we'll see.

I'm not holding my breath. I did last time and it ended up that I got what I wanted... M back, but this time... I don't feel regretful. I don't feel like this was my fault. I'm a good person.

I work hard, I take care of myself and I have goals and dreams. I love my friends and family and take care of everyone around me all the time. If anything, this time I feel like it's his fault.

Or rather, his loss.

I'm not sure what the future will bring for M and I, or whether it will bring anything at all, but I do know I'm exhausted from trying to keep my relationship together, and that I feel a bit of relief that I don't have to worry or try so hard anymore.

Why give 110% if the other person is only putting in 50% or less?

Don't get me wrong, I acknowledge that I still love him and I have a long way to go in the method of getting over him, (if I ever do) but I realize this time that I can't curl up in the fetal position and die. I have to keep breathing, keep working, keep pushing for what I want in my life. And I can't give up just because he can't see that I'm a real catch.

I hope hes okay though, I'm not a mean hearted person.

And I got to keep my dog, Iggy, and he'll keep me happy and occupied for the time being.

Hope all of you are having a better hump day than I am!

I love you all! And keep voting for His Shirt in MR! I want to see it reach 800 hits! It would be so awesome!

kiss
XOXOXOX
-Chevvy
VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
joliette:
Oh honey. I am so sad to hear of your break-up. :-(

I wanted to thank you for your love on my set, but it feels silly to see on the tail of your blog. frown

Thinking of you.

xoxox
Sep 22, 2010
violentpatriot:
You are too damn awesome to be sad!
Sep 22, 2010

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