cheshirecat

its not a matter of not wanting to do anything or a lack of things to do......it is the wanting to do everything at the same time or at the very moment that it enters my head which conflicts with the outside world or i should say my inner world conflicts with the outside world......i want life to be an adventure and in a sense it is , or that is that I make it . However the scenery outside does not match the picture inside........there is a feeling of conquest inside of me mixed with a inner piece.....there r times when I feeel like leaving just going anywhere because I can .......make my life a Keroauc novel ,you know go stay in some run down hotel in the middle of the desert......or drive to Seattle because I have never seen it ,enter other peoples lives.......chase the sun across the sea. Then there is the fixated reality of doing something substantial , getting into art school which part of me has contempt for .....why should i need to write an artists statement??????? what the hell is that ?????? can i just quote Rimbaud instead. Do i need other people telling me what direction to take my art into ???? isnt the point of art the spontaneous reaction in which the art itself is created???? does everything need to be deciphered to one meaning???? That and being told that I should retire my classic holey black T-shirt are the monkeys on my back....Yes Gap shirts R nice but they do not age well .