I'm feeling a little frustrated. This time last year I was booking up and sorting out my trip which I was thoroughly looking forward to. This year I find myself with a very uncertain future. I have various courses I need to decide between depending on what area of the charity sector I want to focus on. Or not take one at all. And if I decide to take one what job should aim on getting to fit around it? Or should I just do temp work until after the course? There are so many uncertain things I find it dispiriting and yet deep down I know that if I stick it out I will get somewhere. I guess I just wish it was going to be a little more straightforward, and yes, easier. It's the area of my life I want to be throwing myself into sorting out but I keep starting to and panicking, but I need to distract myself from other messes I have created for myself.
When I first came back I felt, to a large extent, calm and in control. Yea sure there where times I got pissed off/upset but they were mainly family related and as such my norm! But now I've found I've gone from one extreme to the other. I find myself in a daze at work, my mind completely somewhere else. And why? Well that's easy, because I've gone and made stupid decisions again, confused myself and got nowhere. I always end up saying it, but I should have listened to Rachelle. She seems to know me better than myself sometimes. So what to do now? I'm seeing if I can get flights to Oz for in the New Year. I probably won't be able to get anything I can afford but I'm still going to look! It'd be nice to go see some people I met travelling and enjoy the weather! Otherwise, I need to get control back because I really don't like this!
When I first came back I felt, to a large extent, calm and in control. Yea sure there where times I got pissed off/upset but they were mainly family related and as such my norm! But now I've found I've gone from one extreme to the other. I find myself in a daze at work, my mind completely somewhere else. And why? Well that's easy, because I've gone and made stupid decisions again, confused myself and got nowhere. I always end up saying it, but I should have listened to Rachelle. She seems to know me better than myself sometimes. So what to do now? I'm seeing if I can get flights to Oz for in the New Year. I probably won't be able to get anything I can afford but I'm still going to look! It'd be nice to go see some people I met travelling and enjoy the weather! Otherwise, I need to get control back because I really don't like this!
Yeah i had seen that they are coming over, more than half of the buggers have died since the documentary (Downside of regrouping a bunch of 80year olds!) Very sweet of you to remember though.
How are you doing?....very jealous of your trip!
I'm not quite back at uni but i will be - The course I'm on is part-time but gives me guaranteed entry to the ba in canterbury (which i've already been told I have got) so it's counting down to it....bout time I figure, had quite enough of the day job!!x