well. Fate deals a cruel hand, doesn't it? After being so pleased that I'd finished this photobook to send to my dad, as a belated Father's Day present, I received a phone call last night. My dad has been diagnosed as having a brain tumour.
The two strokes he's had in the past 6 months, and his memory-loss now make sense. The fact that this tumour has only just been discovered, even though he's been having hospital scans on a regular basis for around a year, implies it's only just become big enough to show up on a scan - which has to be a positive thing. If they catch these things early enough, they're more easily treated.. or so I'm trying to convince myself.
I almost collapsed in the street when my mum called to tell me - she'd heard the news from my stepmum (my parents have been divorced since I was 5)
I feel guilty for not having seen him lately. I posted him a Father's Day card, and thought it odd when I hadn't heard from him.. He lives in London, I live on the south coast. Whilst its not a million miles away - maybe 2 hours by train, it's a 25 ticket which I can never afford.
I cant forgive myself for not seeing him more regularly.
I'm going to see him as soon as I can.. I hate hospitals, and the idea of seeing my normally-dignified Dad lying defenceless and wired-up in a hospital bed makes me feel nauseous.
Forgive my miserable and honest post.. I'm beside myself with worry. I feel numb and broken. Despite the irregularity with which I visit him, I'm a daddy's girl through and through.
x fin x
The two strokes he's had in the past 6 months, and his memory-loss now make sense. The fact that this tumour has only just been discovered, even though he's been having hospital scans on a regular basis for around a year, implies it's only just become big enough to show up on a scan - which has to be a positive thing. If they catch these things early enough, they're more easily treated.. or so I'm trying to convince myself.
I almost collapsed in the street when my mum called to tell me - she'd heard the news from my stepmum (my parents have been divorced since I was 5)
I feel guilty for not having seen him lately. I posted him a Father's Day card, and thought it odd when I hadn't heard from him.. He lives in London, I live on the south coast. Whilst its not a million miles away - maybe 2 hours by train, it's a 25 ticket which I can never afford.
I cant forgive myself for not seeing him more regularly.
I'm going to see him as soon as I can.. I hate hospitals, and the idea of seeing my normally-dignified Dad lying defenceless and wired-up in a hospital bed makes me feel nauseous.
Forgive my miserable and honest post.. I'm beside myself with worry. I feel numb and broken. Despite the irregularity with which I visit him, I'm a daddy's girl through and through.
x fin x