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cherryxinkxbomb253989

portsmouth

Member Since 2006

Followers 41 Following 26

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Saturday May 13, 2006

May 13, 2006
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yes, cute guy came to see me whatever
and luckily it was quiet at work, so we chatted, whilst I fiddled, and absent-mindedly measured the same 4mm ring at least 300 times.. hehe
He's the kinda guy it's difficult to tell how he feels. You wouldn't put him at 25 either..he seems more..22, if not younger. But thats ok smile I'm quite flirty flirty with people I like anyway, and he's not that kind of person. But that's ok too - and as my bestest buddy pointed out from a male perspective this evening, it's unlikely he'd come down and pop in, just to say hey and have a chat for no reason..well i think so anyway. Was there an ulterior motive? someone reassure me! Ah, we'll see... blush

hmmm what else? oh ok..I went out for the first time in AGES with my best friend. It was so good to see him.
Made me realise how true it is that you don't realise quite how much you love someone til you miss them. in theory, he'd be perfect for me really.. y'know? but it's just not there..the spark, i mean. for either of us. we're just plutonic friends. lots of people half joking/half not ask why we're not together..but in practice wouldnt work (other than the fact my other best friend is his girlfriend!) Hmm... what I mean by that, is just that I wish I could find someone like him (tall, tattooed, funny, good listener, wonderful friend etc) it'd be perfect!!

so anyway, we went out to this bar, and literally ALL my friends were there (including my ex). only thing was, I wasn't with them. made me feel kinda excluded and stuff. basically it was all the people from our friend Riz's funeral - y'know? people who are like NEVER out. only difference was, i was the only person missing. AAGHH.. it hurt, made me miss those friends, made me miss my old life.
On paper, there are so many guys who'd seem almost perfect for me.. well..kinda. y'know.. just cute, cool, tattooed guys. and yet my ex, with his crap hair, DM's, one tattoo and awful shirts, is the only guy I see. I've tried going for drinks with other guys. They don't even cast a shadow on my ex. fucking miserable.

On top of all that, he's let me down for my sister's wedding. he was supposed to still be coming, and he said he would. Now apparently his boss wont give him the time off. whatever
I'm feeling increasingly more isolated and my god is it painful?!!

Its like..if i'm so fucking wonderful,why is it, the one guy I love so much it hurts, doesn't want me? frown

i feel sore, in a place which is getting a little too damaged to heal itself

x fin x
daisy:
Ex sounds like an ass. Don't bother with him, he doesn't deserve your time or attention.

New guy clearly likes you, he wouldn't have trekked all the way to see you otherwise, or at least that's how i'd take it.

kiss
May 13, 2006
daisy:
Thank you. That was incredibly sweet. kiss
May 14, 2006

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