cherryxinkxbomb253989

I went to see some great bands from the USA last night..they musta got lost on their way home..: Black Cougar Shock Unit and Grabass Charlestons. i loved
I bought both their cd's, and a shirt (crazy on-holiday money-spending tsk..)

i got drunk. again...i got a headache.

i came home.

i got heartbreak.

fuck this. i want this stupid fucking hurting to stop. who the fuck am i kidding? i feel broken, damaged, and bruised. You know when all you want is some recognition? just for the one person you need to hear from to acknowledge that you're there? that they heard you crying, screaming, whispering? whatever?

and then they don't and it breaks you. makes you feel more alone than anyone has ever been? Makes you scream just to try and get an answer. just to make them look up?

fuck being down. fuck this desperation, this hollowness inside. fuck feeling like i dont wanna bother with this life bollocks.

feeling like i've got a hundred people who say they're there, and not one who really is. my heart feels heavy tonight. i wish i could tear it out, just for light relief.

my head is spinning from all these poisonous thoughts flooding it. i want them to stop. i want to feel ok. not even good, just ok.

fin