I've been in a not so happy place recently... despite the fact that everything in life is going great! My depression has all but vanished, no anxiety issues in months, great marriage, great friends, love my job even though it pays for crap, looking to start grad school shortly... the only issue is completely internal. My fucking head!!! 3 Migraines in 3 weeks. WTF!!!!! I've had migraines my whole adult life, but never so close together. It throws me every time. I'm completely useless when they hit. I can barely muster the energy to force words out of my mouth. All I want to do is be drugged and sleep and hope that when I wake up it's gone.
Today was the absolute worst. Woke up at 6:30 to the throbbing. Along with an angry 4 year old that I wasn't responding immediately to his demands, much to the chagrin of our poor dog, who took the brunt of his disappointment. Anyway... I called my mother, she had to work. I called my best friend, she had to work and her husband was working on their house. I finally had no choice but to call my husband and tell him I really needed him to come home. Thankfully he has a flexible job and understands what a hard time I've been having with my head, and came home as soon as he could.
I knew I had a little time, so I forced myself out of bed and got into the shower, with a tiny hope that it would help. It didn't. I washed my hair, soaped up my body, then leaned against the wall and sobbed like a hormonal pre-teen. The pain was so overwhelming... I had no way to cope. I stood there and tried to breathe, letting the water pound against me for no other reason than lacking the energy to move.
When he got home, Hubby got me in the car to head to walk-in care. I had to put a blanket over my head to shield my eyes from the sun. We only live 5 miles away but the ride felt like it would never end. Finally, he dropped me off (he would have stayed but it was much better for all involved to take the 4 year old to breakfast instead of waiting). I didn't wait long before getting placed in a too-brightly lit room, where a very kind young med assistant turned off all the lights and took my vitals. Temp of 101. Awesome. My body just couldn't figure out to do with the pain... let's try and roast it out. Yeah... not helping.
The P.A. came in shortly after, ordered a shot of Toridol, which has worked for me in the past and also would lower the fever. Half hour or more passed, I lost all sense of time... nothing. No relief. Then the Phenergen... which made me unbelievably tired, but no pain relief. The P.A. came back in, asked me more questions about my migraine history, I could tell he was fishing. Migraines are still a medical mystery, but usually there is a pattern. Oh, but not with me, that would be too easy. Finally his concern was great enough to ask me to wait another half hour for the M.D. to arrive so he could evaluate me. Very nice (handsome) European doctor of some sort, maybe French... I'd seen him before a few times. He asked me all the same questions, which by this time were nearly impossible to answer because of the previously given drugs and the still unrelieved pain. He said they'd do what they could there, and if they couldn't manage it, I'd have to be sent to the ER. Awesome.
So they hooked me up with I.V. fluids (after the 2nd try at the poke), and gave me two little green pills I can't remember the name of. An hour later I had some relief. Not complete, but some. I remember being unable to make the telephone work to call my husband to pick me up. Then I opened my eyes again and he was there. It was noon. Five hours I'd spent being given a drug, waiting to see, then another, etc. I don't remember the car ride home or getting into bed. I also don't remember answering a few text messages once I was in bed... but there they are. I woke up at 9:45 tonight feeling like a normally functioning person with what I guess would be a normal headache.
My Hubby, my love, got me some ice cream. I got myself a muscle relaxer and some Tylenol with codeine left over from a recent sinus infection. Decided to record the day while I wait for it to kick in. And now I think it may be starting to... but the lack of concentration and fogging over eyes are the only indicators. Yeah, after all that, I still have a headache. Not quite as crippling, not quite to the point of crying in the shower... but still... a headache. I can't wait to see what tomorrow has in store for me.
Today was the absolute worst. Woke up at 6:30 to the throbbing. Along with an angry 4 year old that I wasn't responding immediately to his demands, much to the chagrin of our poor dog, who took the brunt of his disappointment. Anyway... I called my mother, she had to work. I called my best friend, she had to work and her husband was working on their house. I finally had no choice but to call my husband and tell him I really needed him to come home. Thankfully he has a flexible job and understands what a hard time I've been having with my head, and came home as soon as he could.
I knew I had a little time, so I forced myself out of bed and got into the shower, with a tiny hope that it would help. It didn't. I washed my hair, soaped up my body, then leaned against the wall and sobbed like a hormonal pre-teen. The pain was so overwhelming... I had no way to cope. I stood there and tried to breathe, letting the water pound against me for no other reason than lacking the energy to move.
When he got home, Hubby got me in the car to head to walk-in care. I had to put a blanket over my head to shield my eyes from the sun. We only live 5 miles away but the ride felt like it would never end. Finally, he dropped me off (he would have stayed but it was much better for all involved to take the 4 year old to breakfast instead of waiting). I didn't wait long before getting placed in a too-brightly lit room, where a very kind young med assistant turned off all the lights and took my vitals. Temp of 101. Awesome. My body just couldn't figure out to do with the pain... let's try and roast it out. Yeah... not helping.
The P.A. came in shortly after, ordered a shot of Toridol, which has worked for me in the past and also would lower the fever. Half hour or more passed, I lost all sense of time... nothing. No relief. Then the Phenergen... which made me unbelievably tired, but no pain relief. The P.A. came back in, asked me more questions about my migraine history, I could tell he was fishing. Migraines are still a medical mystery, but usually there is a pattern. Oh, but not with me, that would be too easy. Finally his concern was great enough to ask me to wait another half hour for the M.D. to arrive so he could evaluate me. Very nice (handsome) European doctor of some sort, maybe French... I'd seen him before a few times. He asked me all the same questions, which by this time were nearly impossible to answer because of the previously given drugs and the still unrelieved pain. He said they'd do what they could there, and if they couldn't manage it, I'd have to be sent to the ER. Awesome.
So they hooked me up with I.V. fluids (after the 2nd try at the poke), and gave me two little green pills I can't remember the name of. An hour later I had some relief. Not complete, but some. I remember being unable to make the telephone work to call my husband to pick me up. Then I opened my eyes again and he was there. It was noon. Five hours I'd spent being given a drug, waiting to see, then another, etc. I don't remember the car ride home or getting into bed. I also don't remember answering a few text messages once I was in bed... but there they are. I woke up at 9:45 tonight feeling like a normally functioning person with what I guess would be a normal headache.
My Hubby, my love, got me some ice cream. I got myself a muscle relaxer and some Tylenol with codeine left over from a recent sinus infection. Decided to record the day while I wait for it to kick in. And now I think it may be starting to... but the lack of concentration and fogging over eyes are the only indicators. Yeah, after all that, I still have a headache. Not quite as crippling, not quite to the point of crying in the shower... but still... a headache. I can't wait to see what tomorrow has in store for me.