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cherrylenses

Manchester, NH

Member Since 2004

Followers 20 Following 23

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Sunday Jan 14, 2007

Jan 14, 2007
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I downloaded the Peeping Tom cd that Nate plays in his truck all the time. It's amazing. Nate can only play the cd when I'm in the truck because no one else likes the cd. I find it funny. Anyone who has access to iTunes or some other music downloading program should download their songs "Sucker" and "Celebrity Death Match". I'm listening to Celebrity Death Match and whenever the line "I reached over to touch you" plays, all I can think about it Nate's hand creeping across the arm rest to grab my leg.

I might be going to Amsterdam sometime between now and March. It all depends on time, money and weither or not Nate, Gary and Hickory go. Gary is paying for himself and Hickory with his tax returns and Nate is working on getting a job to pay for miscellaneous things and possibly the trip. I have the money to go, I just don't want to go there and have no one to see. If the three of them go first, I can take time off from school and go. But I still don't know if that's going to happen. I don't want to go if Nate isn't going.

I don't know what my attraction to skinny boys is, but I'm loving it. Nate is skinny, extremely skinny, and sometimes it's unnerving. Sometimes when Nate picks me up from school and we aren't hanging out with anyone afterwards, we'll go back to his house and he'll take a shower and I'll stay in the bathroom to keep him company. Seeing him totally naked makes me think I'm looking at a skeleton or an Auschwitz run-away. I didn't realise just how skinny he was until I first saw him naked. He wears baggy clothes to disguise it and it works well. He commented on my shocked look the first time and he said a lot of people have had that reaction. It doesn't matter, I still love him.

Sex with a skinny boy is just ... better. I don't know why. I like feel his ribs under my fingers, the line his back bones make. I love cuddling up to him, my head on his chest, my hand resting in the valley this hip bone makes. I love running my fingers just under his ribs, where's the most ticklish, and the huge smile that comes from it.

The drag off the cigarette I just lit tasted like ganja. I think I'm smoking too much. I officially have two cigarettes left and I'm going to have to save them. I don't have any money on me and ... yeah. Fuck.

Every time I light a cigarette, or Nate and I are going to get weed, something he said a while ago comes back to me. "I don't know any artists who weren't on some drug at some point in time." It makes me feel stereotypical or like a cliche, and I kind of hate it. I know what he means, that artists made their work better or more thought out through drug use, but it still makes me feel stereotypical.

I wish I was as stoned right now as I was New Years' Eve. I had some amazing thoughts that night. I don't remember what they were, but I know they were amazing. When I came home, I was too tired to write anything or even begin to put onto paper what I was thinking. It kind of sucks.

I know I had more to say, but I'll have to get back to that another time, because I forgot.

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