I discovered Suicide Girls when I was about 13 on Instagram when I was fumbling around looking for who knows what.. I remember coming across the pictures of all these gorgeous women of all shapes, sizes, and ethnicities. It was like a rainbow of women all in one place. A whole collection with tattoos, piercings & colored hair, these different styles, with amazing bodies and attitudes wearing the coolest clothes, or lingerie usually hehe duh. Pretty much everything I wanted at the time but wasn’t really able to. 😅 I was obsessed instantly. I had spent so much time on the Instagram page because obviously at that time I was so young I didn’t necessarily have access to the site itself haha. Which in turn resulted in me not fully knowing at first that they were nude models! (Insert hysterical laughter here)
I hadn’t discovered that until I was staying up late one night watching tv. I’m honestly not sure what it was I just remember it being late and me coming across ‘Suicide Girls’ and I was like... what. Must see. So of course I went to it and there’s like nude women all over the screen having their photos taken you know? And it was honestly like a life changing experience for me hahaha. Might sound crazy, but in that moment I honestly questioned myself a lot. I knew I was a fan of this and obviously knew a majority but was under the impression it was just like, boudoir 🤷🏻♀️ Not necessarily nude. Which obviously after discovering it was the latter it made complete sense to me and of course felt extremely silly hehe. But upon that concrete realization it was something I like, discussed with myself at a young age. Kind of a decision you have to make if it’s something that crosses your mind to pursue, like... would I be cool with that? Not everyone is, obviously, which is fine.
As a young woman you’re taught a lot of foolish things about your body, respect, morals, etc. Seems you’re damned if you take any pride or control of your body into your own hands. I thought it was empowering. It was rebellious and everything it should be. Women expressing themselves, having fun and building bonds while doing it. I decided I was more than willing to embrace myself in that way, and I had plenty of years for growth and exploration. I just became more of a fan and the curiosity heightened.
I was always scrolling through looking at all the different names the girls had and started to think of my own for when I became a Suicide Girl one day. Which I honestly at the time really never thought was going to be a thing or that I’d have the opportunity... it ended up being silly because I came across this photo and immediately thought, “I LOVE HER!” And picked my favorite SG, when I went to see her name, which happened to be the one I had thought of too, it was of course none other than Dimples. Who, I actually had the pleasure of meeting recently and it was a dream come true, honestly a really unexpected and amazing opportunity haha. She was extremely sweet and so flattered when I mentioned she was my first favorite and that it was actually the name I had chosen for myself and it made me love her even more. She was a brunette, had this super sweet face and of course had the cutest dimples... just like me! Loved meeting her, she gave me a hug and was very humble from the start. 💚 We were both at the 420 Pinups shootfest here in Phoenix recently and I felt like a little fangirl watching her, I had to muster up the courage to finally say something to her before she left.
I foolishly tried to join the site as a youngster and even tried to see how to be a model quite obviously not being nearly old enough at just 14 by that time. It was a dream though, and wasn’t really sure how to even go about it. I spent years obsessing, looking into the approach and how to join. All I wanted was the green hair I always wanted and to be a Suicide Girl where I could model how I wanted to and not be turned away or told I had to change. I got accepted into a modeling agency when I was 16 but they demanded I changed my red hair I tried so hard to achieve back to a natural color. I was pissed to say the least and really disappointed, it wasn’t fair and who cared honestly? Not to mention then suddenly my small stretched ears were a problem? What else was going to be? Talk about putting a young woman down and attempting to plant insecurities. How you can expect any woman to blossom into her full potential when you’re constantly limiting her expression and deciding what is beautiful. I was over it, and never tried to model again until I was an adult and able to do the photos and looks I wanted. I’d do small projects here and there throughout highschool for friends photography classes and took a whole lotta damn selfies.
At between 19-20 I had done a few ‘alternative’ shoots and a little boudoir, I was excited about those as it was headed in the right direction but living in Chicago was honestly very difficult to find photographers to work with 🤷🏻♀️. I put most of it on hold until I moved out to Phoenix. The West Coast is indeed the best coast I guess cus man did things start happening here that I never expected. I started modeling a year after my move and spent a year consistently doing shoots 3-5 times a month and just gaining experience, expressing myself, and of course getting content to use in the mix. I was always comfortable modeling nude and some may even more comfortable honestly haha. It’s very freeing.
Over a year of solid experience and I decided to shoot my first set for Suicide Girls after having my account open for months without making a move. Had the pleasure of meeting my now good friend @alissa through my other good friend @rada ! As soon as Rada heard I wanted to be a SG she was on the move to introduce us and I couldn’t be more grateful. I’m very thankful to have both of these lovely ladies in my life! They definitely helped kick off my SG experience and I’m not sure what I would have done without them. Looking forward to this journey with them along my side. 💚
My set has since come out and my experience with Suicide Girls as a Hopeful has been such a blessing. I was ecstatic to be a part of the site and immediately took advantage of the new platform I had available to me... and now we’re here! I’ve met a lot of great people through SG from getting to know everyone on the site to making online friends with SG’s & Hopefuls to gaining my best friend @tragicsuicide and meeting others in person too! I had the opportunity to stay at the Suicide Girls House this summer and spend some time with some SG’s in LA also! It’s like you have immediate friends wherever you go hehe.
My debut set Verde Valley is in member review and I would be over the moon if it turned me PINK to give me my official Suicide Girl title. 💚 Please go check it out and give it a like, comment, even share it if you’re in love!
My second set will be published in member review in just 2 Months 3 Weeks :) So hopefully you stick around!
So far, that is my Suicide Girls story and why I want to be a Suicide Girl. It has been a part of my life and helped me learn about who I am and who I would like to be. It helps spark ideas and encourages women to own themselves at a young age. It’s so important for us to be taught we can love ourselves and our uniqueness, that’s the best part of who we are. It shouldn’t be turned away it should be embraced and flaunted. Why be you when I can be me?? There’s so much beauty in different and that’s what Suicide Girls screams. We are the alternative and the abnormal, that’s the most beautiful thing you could ask for. We own ourselves and our own ideas of beauty and aren’t defined by anyone else. I’m glad to be a part of this community and a brand that prides itself on empowering women for whoever they are no matter your size, shape, color, your skin, your art, your interests. We love it, we fuckin want it.
I can’t wait to be Cherrybomb Suicide 💚🍒💣
Xoxo,
Thanks for reading! 💋
@missy @rambo
