If you're wondering what happened to my friend's list please go back to my last entry. Thanks!
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It's my birthday tomorrow. Actually, in just a couple of hours. On Thursday I had a mini breakdown of sorts (in that I just came to this realisation and started crying). This weekend I attended two parties for two friend's (and was supposed to go to a concert but actually didn't) and did nothing for my birthday. For so many years I ignored my birthday due to lack of friends and lack of interest on my part. The last few years I've been thoroughly spoiled, and this year is more like the "old days" and I guess I'm a bit disappointed.
I think it's mostly because it's yet another thing that reminds me of several things:
1. I miss all my friends so much.
2. I hardly have any friends in Vancouver because I am hard to make friends with.
3. I am broke and I'm sick of worrying about money.
I'm really looking forward to The holidays though. I can not wait to go to the Yukon and have another proper, full on white Christmas. I am such a cheesy romantic in those regards, and this is the second year in a row. I am spoiled for the holidays.
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Lyxzen on the beach when she came to visit. You can tell it's summer because the footprints don't stick in the sand.
All this stuff aside, I have other things to talk about. Last week you may have missed it but a set I photographed for Lyxzen went up. I don't normally talk about sets I photograph in my journal, but I am beyond proud of this one and I have wanted to photograph her for years.
With this set going live, I came to realise something and it's actually put me at peace somewhat. My photography has been less and less popular over the past year or so on SuicideGirls and at first I was somewhat upset by this (who wouldn't be). Some of my best work often gets overlooked or ignored or is said to be "too arty" by many members. Until last week this really got to me.
The sets I photograph used to be some of the most popular on the site, but I guess with time tastes change. I try to change the way I work to go along with the trends in taste and mood, but I guess I'm not talented in that respect. Like I said, it used to bother me.
However with the arrival of Lyxzen's set (one of my best, ever) and the inevitable disappointment that comes with it being rather overlooked/ignored/disliked I have decided I shouldn't be disappointed. The few people that do like my work (most of you that are reading this now; I realise I'm preaching to the converted), like it with such passion that sometimes it not only makes me physically blush but also helps me believe that I can do this.
This has brought me to terms with the loss of "popularity" I've had (for want of a better word or phrase). Sometimes all the hard work is worth it if just a handful of people tell me I've inspired them to go out and try something creative or capture something beautiful.
I'm certainly not asking for a bunch of ass-kissing right here, just thought I'd share this "revelation" with the people that helped me come to it.
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So, enough about myself. Lyxzen is really beautiful, smart, fun and easy going. I couldn't have asked for more hanging out with her or shooting her set!
This prompted me to look at all the photos I took when her and Silencia came to town with AceT. I'd mostly forgotten about them and they brought back so many happy memories from the summer and when I was first in Vancouver (and Malloreigh encouraged and forced me to hang out with people). I hope she comes back soon I've really missed seeing her cheerful face around.
I've scanned in said photos, but I really, truly wish I could show you the prints. They're so much more alive and beautiful in person.
Okay, be warned. There's a LOT...
Silencia, Lyxzen, AceT right after they finished driving up from Portland. They joined Matthew, Redmess, Sheila and I on the beach after dark where we were drinking wine and throwing love letters out to sea:
Sheila and Redmess
Redmess throwing her wine soaked and bottled love letter out to sea.
Midnight snacks at Vancouver's 24 hour vegan-homestyle restaurant The Naam.
charming
yummy vegan brekkie at The Templeton downtown.
Malloreigh in this really intense bric-a-brac store on Commercial Drive. I absolutely adore this photo, if I'm allowed to throw my modesty out for a minute. I had completely forgotten I'd taken it. I might post it in an entry on its own in the future because I'm sure it'll get overlooked.
redmess in previously mentioned store.
Matthew with Veronica who looks so small in his giant hands. I think this is the first photo of Matthew I've posted here. This photo make me love him more.
Lyxzen and Zathril outside said store.
Malloreigh and Truffles at the SG pot-luck picnic.
Lyxzen at the picnic.
The beautiful Silencia and her amazing pout! I wish she'd let me shoot a set for her too!
redmess at the picnic being beyond majestic as usual. I miss her now she's back in Texas.
Starla I don't know if I can take a bad photo of her.
Malloreigh whom makes the best sarnies.
See?!
Sheila and redmess telling secrets. I miss Sheila's Texan smile too.
Group hug. From L-R starting with "the shaved head" Starla, Silencia, Lyxzen, Me, Truffles, Malloreigh, redmess and Shelia. I loved that afternoon and didn't want it to end. Lyxzen and Silencia left town right after this.
Silencia on the beach one afternoon.
----------------
It's my birthday tomorrow. Actually, in just a couple of hours. On Thursday I had a mini breakdown of sorts (in that I just came to this realisation and started crying). This weekend I attended two parties for two friend's (and was supposed to go to a concert but actually didn't) and did nothing for my birthday. For so many years I ignored my birthday due to lack of friends and lack of interest on my part. The last few years I've been thoroughly spoiled, and this year is more like the "old days" and I guess I'm a bit disappointed.
I think it's mostly because it's yet another thing that reminds me of several things:
1. I miss all my friends so much.
2. I hardly have any friends in Vancouver because I am hard to make friends with.
3. I am broke and I'm sick of worrying about money.
I'm really looking forward to The holidays though. I can not wait to go to the Yukon and have another proper, full on white Christmas. I am such a cheesy romantic in those regards, and this is the second year in a row. I am spoiled for the holidays.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Lyxzen on the beach when she came to visit. You can tell it's summer because the footprints don't stick in the sand.
All this stuff aside, I have other things to talk about. Last week you may have missed it but a set I photographed for Lyxzen went up. I don't normally talk about sets I photograph in my journal, but I am beyond proud of this one and I have wanted to photograph her for years.
With this set going live, I came to realise something and it's actually put me at peace somewhat. My photography has been less and less popular over the past year or so on SuicideGirls and at first I was somewhat upset by this (who wouldn't be). Some of my best work often gets overlooked or ignored or is said to be "too arty" by many members. Until last week this really got to me.
The sets I photograph used to be some of the most popular on the site, but I guess with time tastes change. I try to change the way I work to go along with the trends in taste and mood, but I guess I'm not talented in that respect. Like I said, it used to bother me.
However with the arrival of Lyxzen's set (one of my best, ever) and the inevitable disappointment that comes with it being rather overlooked/ignored/disliked I have decided I shouldn't be disappointed. The few people that do like my work (most of you that are reading this now; I realise I'm preaching to the converted), like it with such passion that sometimes it not only makes me physically blush but also helps me believe that I can do this.
This has brought me to terms with the loss of "popularity" I've had (for want of a better word or phrase). Sometimes all the hard work is worth it if just a handful of people tell me I've inspired them to go out and try something creative or capture something beautiful.
I'm certainly not asking for a bunch of ass-kissing right here, just thought I'd share this "revelation" with the people that helped me come to it.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
So, enough about myself. Lyxzen is really beautiful, smart, fun and easy going. I couldn't have asked for more hanging out with her or shooting her set!
This prompted me to look at all the photos I took when her and Silencia came to town with AceT. I'd mostly forgotten about them and they brought back so many happy memories from the summer and when I was first in Vancouver (and Malloreigh encouraged and forced me to hang out with people). I hope she comes back soon I've really missed seeing her cheerful face around.
I've scanned in said photos, but I really, truly wish I could show you the prints. They're so much more alive and beautiful in person.
Okay, be warned. There's a LOT...
Silencia, Lyxzen, AceT right after they finished driving up from Portland. They joined Matthew, Redmess, Sheila and I on the beach after dark where we were drinking wine and throwing love letters out to sea:
Sheila and Redmess
Redmess throwing her wine soaked and bottled love letter out to sea.
Midnight snacks at Vancouver's 24 hour vegan-homestyle restaurant The Naam.
charming
yummy vegan brekkie at The Templeton downtown.
Malloreigh in this really intense bric-a-brac store on Commercial Drive. I absolutely adore this photo, if I'm allowed to throw my modesty out for a minute. I had completely forgotten I'd taken it. I might post it in an entry on its own in the future because I'm sure it'll get overlooked.
redmess in previously mentioned store.
Matthew with Veronica who looks so small in his giant hands. I think this is the first photo of Matthew I've posted here. This photo make me love him more.
Lyxzen and Zathril outside said store.
Malloreigh and Truffles at the SG pot-luck picnic.
Lyxzen at the picnic.
The beautiful Silencia and her amazing pout! I wish she'd let me shoot a set for her too!
redmess at the picnic being beyond majestic as usual. I miss her now she's back in Texas.
Starla I don't know if I can take a bad photo of her.
Malloreigh whom makes the best sarnies.
See?!
Sheila and redmess telling secrets. I miss Sheila's Texan smile too.
Group hug. From L-R starting with "the shaved head" Starla, Silencia, Lyxzen, Me, Truffles, Malloreigh, redmess and Shelia. I loved that afternoon and didn't want it to end. Lyxzen and Silencia left town right after this.
Silencia on the beach one afternoon.
VIEW 25 of 116 COMMENTS
quietlythere:
Congrats on Glitch's set 
miyo:
cherry i can only dream of taking photos as beautiful as yours!