cherry

Back from Brighton a week ago. I had such a beautiful time there. I would tell you in detail, but, well, I'd rather keep it as personal memories. Forgive me.


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I've gotten more work done in the past week than I ever thought was physically possible. In the past seven days I have shot nine suicide girls sets, plus another three or four shoots and i have prepped over eight suicide girls sets and edited a whole bunch of other photos. Somewhere in between that I managed to take another couple hundred photos of just stuff. Oh and I also had a bloody good time while at it, not to mention got tattooed for almost three hours yesterday. More on the sleeve.

I've suffered a bit for it though. Finally gave myself chance to sit back and relax a bit today and had two panic attacks and the shakes all day. Sometimes I know I push myself too far, but it's not until my body throws a fit that I realise. I wonder if I'll ever learn to take smaller steps before I fall down and can't get back up again.


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More photos:


-Dotty she is so naturally peaceful and beautiful. I think I caught that here.


-Anarchie a strong and confident beauty if ever there was one.

(yes, these are actual film photos scanned from negatives - the borders are not digitally added)

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So, almost a year ago I was talking with Frankie and her husband about being a creative person and having a creative job (especially one where you continually improve). We decided that we are only as good as our last piece of work. I think this is also very much how the world at large views our work. This is of course absolutely understandable and natural. I have found some frustration recently, however, at the fact that the sets that I shoot won't be seen for several months. Don't get me wrong, I am not whining about things taking a while to go live (it is obvious why it takes a while). I suppose it is just because I think I have photographed some of the best sets I have ever shot in the past little while, and I can't wait for everyone to see them. However, on the other side of it you will have to see the not-so-good work I produced some months ago first. Thus is life.

I am incredibly happy that I am still improving so much and I know I still have much to learn and discover, and I think this is not only evident in what I do, but in my attitude and that is something I am actually proud of. Yes, I am proud for the first time in my life. For a long time I was questioning whether I should hang up my camera and try walking another road, but I have been so awakened by those I have worked with lately and my passion is alive again. For the first time I actually feel like I might be getting somewhere with what I try to do.

This is an intensely open journal entry for me, and I hope you don't hold that against me. I am often a little guarded and tight lipped in recent years, but this was something I wanted to share with you.


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One more:


-Sky. She is so beautiful.

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For those of you that crave colour:




:cherry: