chenz

What a crash today, I feel so fucking low. I think it's probably time to go talk to someone about how I feel, because the way I deal with it hasn't evolved enough for me to honestly say I can handle it without my day to day functionality being seriously impaired.

I haven't got any motivation to do anything. I'm missing Nik. There is no going back from the things she has said and done to me now. Why the hell did it take me so long to realise how selfish she was? Every time she was hurting, I was the one she took it out on. How can you be there for someone, when their idea of supporting them is to stay while they put you down, and break you down.

A pertinent question is this; which is worse? Damaging someone mentally, or damaging someone physically?

Lol I guess the answer to that would be both.

I'll never forgive her. She has broken me. Some scars are almost gone, others will never heal or be seen. I wish I could hate her.