25 years ago my mother died. I was 12 at the time of her passing and found nothing from my peers but empty condolence and false virtue from people who I didn’t know. My older brother dedicated himself to become a doctor and completely left the two other brothers to our own devices. My little brother (8 at the time) needed someone there to support him. My father fell into depression and only found calm when working. This lead me to take care of my little brother and to make sure dad eats.
fast forward 25 years: I have two wonderful kids, a changed and jovial father. I work with my younger brother and the eldest is a doctor with three daughters. On sept 11 the eldest has officially outlived our mother. A reality I found harsh at the bottom of a whiskey glass.
I often wonder if she would have been proud of us. And it scares me shitless that in three years I will outlive her. What scares me worse is that one day my kids will bury me. I just hope I get a long happy life with them.
thanks for listening, even if no one reads this thank you SG community for giving me a nonjudgmental space to speak.
