Alright new blog.
First I would like to say this, My mother in-law is a crazy bitch. That is not the first time that has been said by me or any married person but it has never been more true for me than today. My wife drove to Kansas last night at the behest of her dad to attend a doctors appointment with her mom about her dementia. I said "That sounds like a for shit idea. You are just going to drive 9 hours to get your heart shit on because your mom is a selfish, cold hearted bitch that treats you and your dad like shit." Now, some of you are saying to yourselves "this dude is going to get divorced for talking to his wife like that" that is just how we have to talk to each other about things.
My family is super chill and we rarely yelled beyond brotherly shit talking, raised voices meant that shit was going down. The wife's family screams at each other constantly from dawn til well in to the night and her parents are the worst. Her brothers love to come to our place to just sink into the chill of our house and relax. So, since I can't compete with her yelling I have to say things in an inflammatory way so that she knows that I am responding and that I may have a different point of view, otherwise she doesn't recognize that I have responded and just does her own thing. Let's be honest, she is gonna do her own thing no matter what I say, its just nice to feel included. Anyway, she got there and into the room with the doc only to be bounced along with her dad by her mom who wanted to hear for herself first and then they could come in. When they got back in she wouldn't tell them jack and neither would the doc. Then she went home and cooked them dinner and refused to eat with them. I would never say "I told you so" to the wife because I am not that kind of asshole and because she will tell me when she gets home how right I was. Family shit sucks especially when its not your blood family.
In work related news I had two of my favorite kinds of parties today(there should be a font for sarcasm). The first I call a maybe, that is a function that is there over the lunch service but doesn't buy lunch so everybody just gets a break and maybe they stay and eat at the club. For six or eight people that is no big deal but today's was fifty. Oh and with a maybe fifty looming the printer crapped out so we had to use paper tickets form a chick that can barely write(she spells walleye, walay). To I got all ready to do 50 just me and the maintenance guy and 2 of them showed up. The second party was a giant double buffet of foods that take forever to cook for and undetermined amount of people. This is a party where a huge grain coop sends out a thousand invites for a free meal with prizes and shit to every one they ever did business with ever. And they don't ask for RSVP they just guess that about 350 people will show but make sure you don't run out of anything. This group burned me bad last year gte 350 but only about 200 showed and I had a ton of shit left over so this year I cut it a lot closer but they kept upping the number even today. So at least 400 fucking people showed. Most of them were very old and didn't eat much. I had exactly enough to make it 5 til 7 and at 7:15 there was nothing left but some macaroni salad and about 20 pieces of chicken. I couldn't believe it worked out that way but I would never have cut it that close on purpose.
Good news, "I'm getting the band back together!". Not quite Blues Brothers worthy but good news for me. I got a call last week from a kick ass Bakersfield country style lead guitar guy I had been playing with a while back and he is looking to get something together again. PAUSE And that was a phone call solidifying that that is happening. My bass playing buddy is hooking it up so that we can play both bluegrass and honkytonk one set at a time in the same band with this whole insane group of people most of whom I know. Sunday evening should be fun. He said I just stand there and sing and they will juggle who plays what when around me. That is my favorite kind of band. Here's hoping it works out to be a fun time.
Finally, I am ready to look at some boobs. Kids sleeping, wife gone, blog finished...
First I would like to say this, My mother in-law is a crazy bitch. That is not the first time that has been said by me or any married person but it has never been more true for me than today. My wife drove to Kansas last night at the behest of her dad to attend a doctors appointment with her mom about her dementia. I said "That sounds like a for shit idea. You are just going to drive 9 hours to get your heart shit on because your mom is a selfish, cold hearted bitch that treats you and your dad like shit." Now, some of you are saying to yourselves "this dude is going to get divorced for talking to his wife like that" that is just how we have to talk to each other about things.
My family is super chill and we rarely yelled beyond brotherly shit talking, raised voices meant that shit was going down. The wife's family screams at each other constantly from dawn til well in to the night and her parents are the worst. Her brothers love to come to our place to just sink into the chill of our house and relax. So, since I can't compete with her yelling I have to say things in an inflammatory way so that she knows that I am responding and that I may have a different point of view, otherwise she doesn't recognize that I have responded and just does her own thing. Let's be honest, she is gonna do her own thing no matter what I say, its just nice to feel included. Anyway, she got there and into the room with the doc only to be bounced along with her dad by her mom who wanted to hear for herself first and then they could come in. When they got back in she wouldn't tell them jack and neither would the doc. Then she went home and cooked them dinner and refused to eat with them. I would never say "I told you so" to the wife because I am not that kind of asshole and because she will tell me when she gets home how right I was. Family shit sucks especially when its not your blood family.
In work related news I had two of my favorite kinds of parties today(there should be a font for sarcasm). The first I call a maybe, that is a function that is there over the lunch service but doesn't buy lunch so everybody just gets a break and maybe they stay and eat at the club. For six or eight people that is no big deal but today's was fifty. Oh and with a maybe fifty looming the printer crapped out so we had to use paper tickets form a chick that can barely write(she spells walleye, walay). To I got all ready to do 50 just me and the maintenance guy and 2 of them showed up. The second party was a giant double buffet of foods that take forever to cook for and undetermined amount of people. This is a party where a huge grain coop sends out a thousand invites for a free meal with prizes and shit to every one they ever did business with ever. And they don't ask for RSVP they just guess that about 350 people will show but make sure you don't run out of anything. This group burned me bad last year gte 350 but only about 200 showed and I had a ton of shit left over so this year I cut it a lot closer but they kept upping the number even today. So at least 400 fucking people showed. Most of them were very old and didn't eat much. I had exactly enough to make it 5 til 7 and at 7:15 there was nothing left but some macaroni salad and about 20 pieces of chicken. I couldn't believe it worked out that way but I would never have cut it that close on purpose.
Good news, "I'm getting the band back together!". Not quite Blues Brothers worthy but good news for me. I got a call last week from a kick ass Bakersfield country style lead guitar guy I had been playing with a while back and he is looking to get something together again. PAUSE And that was a phone call solidifying that that is happening. My bass playing buddy is hooking it up so that we can play both bluegrass and honkytonk one set at a time in the same band with this whole insane group of people most of whom I know. Sunday evening should be fun. He said I just stand there and sing and they will juggle who plays what when around me. That is my favorite kind of band. Here's hoping it works out to be a fun time.
Finally, I am ready to look at some boobs. Kids sleeping, wife gone, blog finished...