cheeseeye

so...

apparently the key to not making a constant embarrassment of one's self, is not, in fact, to quit drinking, but instead to just never leave the house or communicate with the outside world in any way, thereby insuring that no one will discover your innate dorkiness and general geek like inability to form sentences when faced with members of the opposite sex, drinking liquids without spilling them onto self, actually consuming anything of any kind without spilling on self, attempts to be cheerful that result in weird erratic laughter right when the music stops, tripping over self, drooling on self, sudden inexplicable coughing attack or possible nose itch whenever in direct sight of anyone cute that you might want to impress, unsolicited giggling fits, hysterical chasing of people about to get on buses, talking loudly about someone who is in fact, standing directly behind you,randomly agreeing to do things you don't want to so that you will seem fun, thinking someone is smiling at you when they are really smiling at the girl next to you (???fuckers), talking too loudly about your cat/stuffed lion/comic books/creepy zombie stuff ...oh god...seriously...
"falls to floor and writhes about..."