I'm not dead! I am just really extremely busy. I actually am not going to my second job tonight because my endometriosis is acting up really bad. 
I don't know why. I can't understand it. All I know is that on Tuesday I was in a little pain, very insignificant so I ignored it, then on Wednesday it got really bad and has stayed that way. I could never do my second job feeling like this. I hate it. Makes me feel old.
My boyfriend thinks I am weak because I don't handle this stuff well enough. I feel like he just doesn't understand it. I was thinking about when I first met him, it was inbetween my second and third surgeries. We stayed up really late one night and although I was in severe pain I still got up and went to work, but he was too tired so he called in. That kind of thing makes me want to punch him in the face. He is so fucking clueless to how I feel. He told me today that he would rather be in physical pain than emotional pain. I used to think that too, but what he doesn't realize is chronic physical pain fosters and creates emotional distress. I started to get all pissed off because he was basically mocking me and I hung up on him. I really don't need that shit. He can go to hell, seriously. I think I might be overreacting, but I told him YESTERDAY that I am really sensitive to this subject and not to joke about it. Even if he feels that I don't have it that bad he doesn't need to tell me that. It is ignorance on his part. He thinks he met me in the middle of these problems, but the worst happened before I ever met him. He thinks I should be over everything that happened, and I am trying, but it is a lot easier said than done, especially when I still am forced to deal with it all the time. I am still really young and I don't want a disease to control my life. I hate it even more because hardly anyone knows anything about it. One of my friend's mom has it and that friend has been the most compassionate about it because she understands the best. Her mom will be fine and all of a sudden need to spend days in bed. That has happened to me. I really don't want this for the rest of my life. I am going to try naturopathy. I have an appointment on the 7th of April. Hopefully that will help.
I hate boys. I like being single so much better. Also, sometimes sex is painful and I would rather never have to deal with that. I hate that I have to explain how I feel and why I feel that way. My boyfriend doesn't think that this stuff should affect me as much emotionally as it does. It just frustrates me and makes me feel retarded and weak. No one can make you feel inferior without your consent, right? Stupid me, I always give consent to the wrong God-damn jackasses.
Like, earlier this week I ran into a friend I used to love dearly. We will never get along again and it still hurts even though it has been like a year and a half.
Sorry if I haven't gotten back to you promptly. I barely have time for anything anymore.
I don't know why. I can't understand it. All I know is that on Tuesday I was in a little pain, very insignificant so I ignored it, then on Wednesday it got really bad and has stayed that way. I could never do my second job feeling like this. I hate it. Makes me feel old.
My boyfriend thinks I am weak because I don't handle this stuff well enough. I feel like he just doesn't understand it. I was thinking about when I first met him, it was inbetween my second and third surgeries. We stayed up really late one night and although I was in severe pain I still got up and went to work, but he was too tired so he called in. That kind of thing makes me want to punch him in the face. He is so fucking clueless to how I feel. He told me today that he would rather be in physical pain than emotional pain. I used to think that too, but what he doesn't realize is chronic physical pain fosters and creates emotional distress. I started to get all pissed off because he was basically mocking me and I hung up on him. I really don't need that shit. He can go to hell, seriously. I think I might be overreacting, but I told him YESTERDAY that I am really sensitive to this subject and not to joke about it. Even if he feels that I don't have it that bad he doesn't need to tell me that. It is ignorance on his part. He thinks he met me in the middle of these problems, but the worst happened before I ever met him. He thinks I should be over everything that happened, and I am trying, but it is a lot easier said than done, especially when I still am forced to deal with it all the time. I am still really young and I don't want a disease to control my life. I hate it even more because hardly anyone knows anything about it. One of my friend's mom has it and that friend has been the most compassionate about it because she understands the best. Her mom will be fine and all of a sudden need to spend days in bed. That has happened to me. I really don't want this for the rest of my life. I am going to try naturopathy. I have an appointment on the 7th of April. Hopefully that will help.
I hate boys. I like being single so much better. Also, sometimes sex is painful and I would rather never have to deal with that. I hate that I have to explain how I feel and why I feel that way. My boyfriend doesn't think that this stuff should affect me as much emotionally as it does. It just frustrates me and makes me feel retarded and weak. No one can make you feel inferior without your consent, right? Stupid me, I always give consent to the wrong God-damn jackasses.
Like, earlier this week I ran into a friend I used to love dearly. We will never get along again and it still hurts even though it has been like a year and a half.
Sorry if I haven't gotten back to you promptly. I barely have time for anything anymore.
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Are you going to come to my family guy party?