charlize

So after I broke up with my boyfriend a week or so ago he talked me into staying with him again, afterall. He was being nice again. But, I have been really sick for a while and he has been very uncaring about it. It really bothered me. I thought I jsut had the flu or something, but it hasn't been going away so I went to see a doctor today. They think I might have a bleeding tumor. I called him right after I was out of the doctor (really because I couldn't get my mom, who was who I actually wanted to talk to, but I thought I needed to talk to someone...) and he acted totally put off that I would bother him with that. Not only that, but he didn't even believe me. He just questioned the hypthosis and made me feel even worse. I already feel like shit. I have to go to a specialist tomorrow. He will determine whatever it is for sure. After I was so ill not even a year ago, I don't want to waste time figuring everything is going to be fine. I did that last time and ended up really fucking sick. He can't seem to see that. But, he thinks it is all in my head. He has said that since he meet me. Honestly, I do think a lot of has to do with the amount of stress(es) I had to deal with at a young age, but it has manifested in a physical way and that is very real. Obviously I have to do something about fixing my body and not just my emotional or spiritual self. Being belittled whenever I am sick wears me out more. I hate it. But, I guess feeling all alone again is too scary. I don't know... He never even has called just to make sure I am okay. he doesn't like to talk on the phone. That is his excuse.

Hey... Does anyone know exactly why all the Suicide Girls seem to be dropping like flies????? Does it have to do with the war on porn and the sets that have been blacked out???