I did it. I fucking did it! It’s been years since I’ve been in an educational environment, and I just applied for community college. It’s taken me such a long time, for so many reasons, to gather the motivation/courage to go back into a school system, but here I am. I don’t know if I’ll make it in time for this semester, as it literally starts in a few days (and honestly I don’t really know how this whole college thing works or how long it takes to process my application and whatnot), but either way, I completed a goal that took me years to do. I’m so proud of myself! And HAPPY. God, I feel happy. I wanted to go to school in Boston, and had a near meltdown when I was informed it wouldn’t be readily available for me. It was my dream, and just like that - shattered. But then I got over my dramatic response and realized it wasn’t really shattered… it was just going to take some extra, realistic steps to get there. And who knows, maybe by the time I can transfer to an out-of-state college, I could change my mind and want to study abroad! I have no friggin idea! I just feel like I opened this door and all of these opportunities are going to burst in. I very much needed this break between high school and college. High school was hell for me, and I was partially homeschooled my last two years because of that. I thought all educational systems were flawed and generically the same for every student. But hey, college is a thing where you get to CHOOSE what you WANT to learn about! Yeah, I’ll have to take some classes I don’t particularly enjoy (math - gross), but I’ll be able to excel in writing again. I’ll be able to actually pay attention in history classes because I want to. This is so different from being force-fed information.. this is me spoon feeding it to myself because I’m finally ready for it. I’m so fucking excited. I cannot wait to start.
