The transition to being nocturnal is now complete. I have embraced the life of a night creature once again. It actually isn't all that bad. I've been able to work more and get caught up on some bills and, hopefully, by the end of the month my worries about money will be on their way out the door. I know I've said that before but I just need to make it happen and it will.
My life has been plugging along at a sluggish pace that seems devoid of direction. The only difference between now and a month or two ago is that I'm not really concerned about my lack of direction.
I'm not exactly sure where I wanted myself to go when I was worried about it. I have a job that pays me about as well as I'm willing to work when we are busy. I have a place to live, a running car, good friends, and a loving family. I have worried about dating but have come to the realization that I, most likely, will not be able to trust anyone in the way that you need to for a realtionship to form anywhere in the near future. I have come terms with this and, although lonely, it is the way things are right now.
Maybe women are the devil. I don't know, but I do love them so.
Christmas is here and I, for one, couldn't be happier about it. I love this time of year. I believe that people are a little nicer and more kind during this season. It makes the first part of winter worth while for me. My memories are all so fond. My family, some dead now, some still here. The giving, the happy faces. Not the music but you can't get everything you want. The world isn't a perfect place. If it was there would be no Hollaback Girl, would there.
But I digress, I always think of my grandmother at christmas time, my dad's mom. She was so kind hearted, humble, all the things my father grew up to be. I wish I could have turned out the same. I wonder what she would say sbout how my life has turned out. She wouldn't have approved of my marrying my ex wife since she wasn't Catholic. All the same I wonder if she would be let down by what I have made of my life. What would she think of me now? Her or my father's honest opinion about how things turned out would be a great gift.
I just wonder sometimes....
Was/is there anyone in your life that their opinion would mean so much?
My life has been plugging along at a sluggish pace that seems devoid of direction. The only difference between now and a month or two ago is that I'm not really concerned about my lack of direction.
I'm not exactly sure where I wanted myself to go when I was worried about it. I have a job that pays me about as well as I'm willing to work when we are busy. I have a place to live, a running car, good friends, and a loving family. I have worried about dating but have come to the realization that I, most likely, will not be able to trust anyone in the way that you need to for a realtionship to form anywhere in the near future. I have come terms with this and, although lonely, it is the way things are right now.
Maybe women are the devil. I don't know, but I do love them so.
Christmas is here and I, for one, couldn't be happier about it. I love this time of year. I believe that people are a little nicer and more kind during this season. It makes the first part of winter worth while for me. My memories are all so fond. My family, some dead now, some still here. The giving, the happy faces. Not the music but you can't get everything you want. The world isn't a perfect place. If it was there would be no Hollaback Girl, would there.
But I digress, I always think of my grandmother at christmas time, my dad's mom. She was so kind hearted, humble, all the things my father grew up to be. I wish I could have turned out the same. I wonder what she would say sbout how my life has turned out. She wouldn't have approved of my marrying my ex wife since she wasn't Catholic. All the same I wonder if she would be let down by what I have made of my life. What would she think of me now? Her or my father's honest opinion about how things turned out would be a great gift.
I just wonder sometimes....
Was/is there anyone in your life that their opinion would mean so much?
VIEW 12 of 12 COMMENTS
sweet words
thank you and bye!