chanel

I was unemployed for a whole week. One week! Its funny how that all happened. I also got fired for some of the strangest and funniest reasons...Which in the end does not matter. I thought there was alot of things wrong with me..but that experience helped me realize that there really isn't. Its them who had the problem.

So I drank the whole week, got fucked up, swore at men and grabbed my women..ran around and painted the town every color. That made me feel happy and empty..at night I would lay and bed and rediscover what it felt like to be young again. Sometimes you get so caught up in life that you forget how to have fun, how to feel alive, how to feel creative. The problem with me is that Im my own worst enemy..and laying in bed and thinking about it sometimes really didn't help my life, or feel good about it in some retrospects.

Now I have this relaxing job and it makes me jittery when I have nothing to do. Damn you nerves. I watch the punks down by my old work, all dolled up in grunge and black, their dog and their backpacks..and I wonder what makes me so damned different from them. I walk by and smile and they smile at me, probably because I'm a girl..but because I don't look like anybody else either. Difference is I have a house that I pay rent in and money in my account...but really..I want to know. They look so...uncaring about anything. Their ruthless and wild..and they sleep in the streets at night, or elsewhere... I want to know..I really want to see what I feel like I'm missing out on. I worry about becoming one of the masses, working, children, having friends for wine and cheese...

Whatever happened to spontaneity?

Maybe thats why I like to move so much. I think Ive said that before...

Out of my random unemployed week, the photo you see about and below are from my dear friend. This is what we like to do when were bored..get drunk and shoot in his bosses studio. Would you buy prints? I have a few that look even better then this.



Cheers kids.
C.