It was a brisk August morning, the temperature finally dipped down enough where humans could live and not feel as if they are wilting away. The temperatures the past few months had soared to hellish standards. The sun had beaten me, browned me like the dwindling grass...hardening, killing the top layer, while causing wear and stress just beneath. However this morning was different, it was like stumbling into an oasis in the final moments before death. One last hurrah... the taste of hope on the tip of your tongue.
The aqua blue sky drowned the tree tops this fine beginning. The fire-red underbelly of the clouds burned richly, smoke peaks resting gently above. A sunrise like I have never seen before, even though I have been below its presents almost every morning for the last 11 years. It was like a drug crazed hallucinogenic image tickling my half-boozed filled eyes and gray matter. I debated if it was the sunrise that I was so stroked by, or the fact that I finally noticed it. On this day there was no avoiding it. Nevertheless it was a great start to the morning.
It made me reflect on several random images and recollections. My youth-full ways of a few years ago...all night rages where I consistently found myself staggering in an open field with stale beer and crushed smokes in my pocketonly to be sobered by a surreal image that I was always afraid I would never see again.
I was willingly raped by the bear that savaged me. This bear was the sunrise, the peacefulness of the moment, the thoughts that accompanied my nothingness. I was engulfed by peace and calm, how vicious. The ferociousness of the Id was about to take over...memories of the majestic nights with Evil.
The crisp air danced a vivid soft-shoe on my hardened lungs at this gentle moment in time. She offered conversationand was easy on the eyes, a deadly combination to any weak male. Stimulating the mind, delighting the thoughts ...causing my inner feelings to sip each word and drank more than its fill. The problem was that I was becoming ever more thirsty for simple tastejust one more experienceI was the village drunkard.
Evil was taking me for a ride in her evil circus. Could I get off this liquored sideshow, did I want to?
A month prior to the burning departure of evil, I was just another goon in the mix of the nothingness. Another peanut in the bar mix...salty, touched by many, disregard by many more. I believed it was going to be another night when I walked into a wooden hole in the wall in search of a tar-like beer, a fine stout.
Earlier that day I had begun to think of a career, the future...prosperity. I was walking the line of responsibility and normalcy. This could have been true if it was not for the large amounts of alcohol abuse. I owe her that, bringing me back to my reality. Giving me focus of what was good in the worldself-indulgence.
From this chance meeting, I no longer had conviction on becoming a John Q. Smith. Not that I have never wanted that or really considered it, but I was as close as I have ever been to this...madness.
The Beast of her nature was the simple-complexities. Evil was a rejuvenating source of power. The last demon that visited my plain was a breathe of fresh air, Evil was a suffocation breathe of goodness and righteousness. I was addicted, strung out like a two cent junkie.
I become intrigued...a glimpse at the possibility of something spine tingling. My spine has not tingled in years. Infatuation, contempt for sin...ahh the taste rested on the tip of the mind.
Evil allowed me to awaken to myself. Stomach the good-life and accept the style in which I wanted to find. I was getting closer to finding the ID.
I was finding Sigmund Freud...the cocaine fiend on to something, finding my psyche... the division between the conscious and unconscious. What was this though, conscious or unconscious...I would gage to guess it was the later of the two. I would spend much of my time unconscious...and was fine with the style.
The ID my ID, was dominated by the pleasure principle. I was Freud's newborn child...being completely 'Id-ridden. I was full of the sense...drives and impulses, and demanding immediate satisfaction. Humor...on an alimentary tract with no sense of responsibility at either end.
Nonetheless...I was headed down the road to guilty pleasures! I found the path...it was the eve of a new way, the Eve of Destruction. Splintering the tired and worn path, finding a new tired. Weakened by the nights, refreshed by the weak-ness.
The aqua blue sky drowned the tree tops this fine beginning. The fire-red underbelly of the clouds burned richly, smoke peaks resting gently above. A sunrise like I have never seen before, even though I have been below its presents almost every morning for the last 11 years. It was like a drug crazed hallucinogenic image tickling my half-boozed filled eyes and gray matter. I debated if it was the sunrise that I was so stroked by, or the fact that I finally noticed it. On this day there was no avoiding it. Nevertheless it was a great start to the morning.
It made me reflect on several random images and recollections. My youth-full ways of a few years ago...all night rages where I consistently found myself staggering in an open field with stale beer and crushed smokes in my pocketonly to be sobered by a surreal image that I was always afraid I would never see again.
I was willingly raped by the bear that savaged me. This bear was the sunrise, the peacefulness of the moment, the thoughts that accompanied my nothingness. I was engulfed by peace and calm, how vicious. The ferociousness of the Id was about to take over...memories of the majestic nights with Evil.
The crisp air danced a vivid soft-shoe on my hardened lungs at this gentle moment in time. She offered conversationand was easy on the eyes, a deadly combination to any weak male. Stimulating the mind, delighting the thoughts ...causing my inner feelings to sip each word and drank more than its fill. The problem was that I was becoming ever more thirsty for simple tastejust one more experienceI was the village drunkard.
Evil was taking me for a ride in her evil circus. Could I get off this liquored sideshow, did I want to?
A month prior to the burning departure of evil, I was just another goon in the mix of the nothingness. Another peanut in the bar mix...salty, touched by many, disregard by many more. I believed it was going to be another night when I walked into a wooden hole in the wall in search of a tar-like beer, a fine stout.
Earlier that day I had begun to think of a career, the future...prosperity. I was walking the line of responsibility and normalcy. This could have been true if it was not for the large amounts of alcohol abuse. I owe her that, bringing me back to my reality. Giving me focus of what was good in the worldself-indulgence.
From this chance meeting, I no longer had conviction on becoming a John Q. Smith. Not that I have never wanted that or really considered it, but I was as close as I have ever been to this...madness.
The Beast of her nature was the simple-complexities. Evil was a rejuvenating source of power. The last demon that visited my plain was a breathe of fresh air, Evil was a suffocation breathe of goodness and righteousness. I was addicted, strung out like a two cent junkie.
I become intrigued...a glimpse at the possibility of something spine tingling. My spine has not tingled in years. Infatuation, contempt for sin...ahh the taste rested on the tip of the mind.
Evil allowed me to awaken to myself. Stomach the good-life and accept the style in which I wanted to find. I was getting closer to finding the ID.
I was finding Sigmund Freud...the cocaine fiend on to something, finding my psyche... the division between the conscious and unconscious. What was this though, conscious or unconscious...I would gage to guess it was the later of the two. I would spend much of my time unconscious...and was fine with the style.
The ID my ID, was dominated by the pleasure principle. I was Freud's newborn child...being completely 'Id-ridden. I was full of the sense...drives and impulses, and demanding immediate satisfaction. Humor...on an alimentary tract with no sense of responsibility at either end.
Nonetheless...I was headed down the road to guilty pleasures! I found the path...it was the eve of a new way, the Eve of Destruction. Splintering the tired and worn path, finding a new tired. Weakened by the nights, refreshed by the weak-ness.