ch3ster

Man I've lost track of how many blogs I've started and not finished. So anyways, guess this one will just be a personal journal. A year out of college and things in my life have completely turned upside down, yet again. It seems that every phase of my life has brought with it a completely different situation with my social life. In grade school i was the short, naive, dweeb that everyone just kind of ignored. In high school my old friendships kind of withered away, but new ones were found. I ended up becoming quite popular, athletic, and made it to States for Track and Field, and Nationals in Tae Kwon Do. This is where I went from uber geek to apparently very attractive. I was in at least 8 different relationships in high school, albeit all short lived, but they launched me into 9 years of serious relationships with 2 girls. Thus began college. I think this was an all time low with me for being able to achieve anything. I slacked off in school, even though I graduated with a 3.48, put all my time and energy into my relationship, lost touch with more cool friends, much to my dismay (I hope they can forgive me) and all my athletics pretty much stopped. I became a social sloth, a slave to taking care of my notoriously troubled and selfish now ex-girlfriend. Upon graduation, distance came between us and we found for the first time a lack of communication. She started up her party life again, much to my dismay because it also made her life a billion times more of a hassle, thus I had to listen to it. We ended up breaking up which destroyed me, since I was ready to marry this girl and it made me feel like I had wasted almost half of my life thus far. So here I am, a college graduate, stuffing envelopes for the gov't, relationships completely thrown out the window. At a low physically and emotionally, I lose another 6 months of my life and in my state of confusion I also hurt one girl because I thought I was just going to jump back in the relationship pool, but I wasn't ready. So I'm at the lowest point of my life so I say to myself theres only one way to go and that is up. So in the past three weeks, thats all that has happened. I'm offered full time employment where I work with uber benefits, because the one thing I'll never lose is my work ethic. I say fuck the relationships and lets just go out and have a good time so I head out on the town with some co-workers and what happens. I get drunk, start dancing, and next thing I know I'm making out with a total stranger. Things are picking up and now I'm trying to reconnect with my friends, ready to kow-tow to them for my lack of correspondence. I'm trying to both find myself/reinvent myself and so I have some options ahead of me. I think I'm going to try to get back into my high school habits with of course a more mature outlook and mindset, seeing as how that was the high point of my life thus far. What does that mean, getting myself back in shape, motivated, social, and confident. With the added bonus of being able to throw parties, hit the bars, clubs, and all that fun 21+ stuff that we can do. So that is a very small nutshell of my life thusfar and now that I've totally just drawled on, we'll see where I get to.