ceri

Tis the season of changes.
first off was becoming single from a 2.5 year long relationship, moving out of his place and into a friends place.
this led to finding out who my real friends are, becoming more active here on this site, meeting new people and surprisingly enough, gaining more self confidence. (weird i know)
than my set i shot got lost when my photogs computer crashed (sorry to anyone who wanted to see a set of me with blonde hair)
i've also discovered i am still very much interested in being with women. which after a long time of not looking at anyone but the one i was with, came as a bit of a shock, since i had no idea lol
i am now back to being a redhead, albeit not the exact shade i wanted... hopefully that can be fixed.
and i will hopefully be getting a job.

the holiday season is one of shraing and caring, and the last few weeks i haven't felt either... well that's not exactly true is it?
let me rephrase that. i have felt tons of caring, from all of you wonderfull people who have been here for me and helped me through everything. a special thanks to Joliette who talked to me for over an hour and a half and not only listened to me sobbing, but made me laugh. she's been so supportive and helpful.
debased_pixie has also been here for me, chatting through crazy hours of the night, trying to cheer me up, even though he himself is having a hard time.
(don't worry everone else matters too, just too many to list)

so xmas is coming up, and i won't be with any of my family, and in fact xmas day i'll probably be home alone, as jess and steve will be going over to her parents house, which happens to be where my ex will be for the holiday. xmas eve though, will be spent at steve's parents house, and that should be a blast. no one had to welcome me, but they did on thanksgiving, and even had me write up a chirstmas list. which made me burst into tears because it was so nice of them, and i can't reciprocate.

my brthday is also coming up in the near future. just over a month and i'll be the big 21. i think i'm gonna go out and get a ton of free shots, that was my plan before, so why change it? i already bought a birthday dress a couple months ago, i should use it lol

hmmm any other news to update? i've lost a fair amount of weight (not being able to eat) and am now able to wear pants i couldn't comfortably button before, granted they are a bit snug... but they fit. i need to start hitting the treadmill though, to tone up in a healthy way. i no longer have a gym membership, so it's nice that there's a treadmill at the house. (old and the readout doesn't work, but it lets me walk/run)

i will be getting together with my photog soon, to shoot again. i don't think we can do the same shoot, since i did it at donnie's place. i think we are going to do a little more of an out there shoot, which probably won't be picked up, but i love the idea, and i can't wait to do it

i'm starting to feel alot better about the situation i'm in, although i still have days where i just can't help crying.

i'm going to start to watch the third season of dexter and also re-watch true blood from the beginning.
well off to do some housework, so i can surprise jess with the fact that she can just relax today (she has a cold and is at school)