ceri

so after not sleeping alone for 2.5 years, it's been really hard to sleep through the night. a lot of tossing and turning and the nightly nightmares i'm having aren't helping. on top of that i have been used to sleeping on what felt like a cloud, and now i'm sleeping on a rock (ok not literally but still feels like one)
so between my shoulder blades is so ridiculously felled with knots, super tight and now i have a migraine that has lasted two days. i wish i had money to get a massage, the heat packs aren't helping. or at least a friend that would do it for me. i'm sure all the stress i'm under can't be helping matters.

i still am contemplating changing my hair. i'm thinking i'll be going back to red. i just don't know if i'm ready to take that step. i went blonde for donnie, and when he broke up with me i desperately wanted to change it, even though i like how it looks. but now we might get back together and i feel that if i do this, and change it, it will be like closing the door and accepting it's over, and the thought of it terrifies me half to death.

i do however want a name change. i just need something new, something more me. everything i want is already taken though, so it's hard.
any thoughts?

oh and i'll share my no makeup and messy hair cuddling with my giraffe picture from last night....