today was almost bizarrely beautiful and a study in contrast.
the power went out in my dorm and pretty much everywhere else and i ended up sleeping through my russian class as a result. it couldn't be helped, so instead i settled down to read for my varieties of modern judaism class.
i went out to lunch with a few friends who knocked on my door and invited me out because they hadn't seen me since the weekend and missed me.
being in petsmart made me miss my dog.
i finished all my reading for friday's VMJ class which all had to do with the holocaust, the circumstances surrounding it, accounts of jewish surival and the view of the jew as a nonperson and of the theological and philosophical problems resulting from the annihilation of one-third of the world's jewish population.
i'm not sure how many people reading this know that i'm jewish, although it could probably be easily assumed about me. i have extended family members from belgium who fled to the states once hitler began occupying europe. i also used to have a weird fascination with the holocaust - i obsessively read documents from officials within the third reich and eyewitness accounts and novels and memoirs and anne frank's diary and whatever else i could find. it was the brutality that interested me, the cold industrialized systematic murder of an entire group of human beings, a group which i belonged to. now, though, it isn't even the grisly details that interest me inasmuch as that the allied governments didn't do a goddamned thing to stop these atrocities. the roosevelt administration knew about the death camps and the jewish genocide from 1942 onward and did nothing because they didn't want to transform world war II into a "jewish war." i have to wonder what atrocities are being committed against other people(s) throughout the world, what our government isn't telling us and what it may never tell us. there's this huge sense of guilt i feel about that. i can't do anything about the holocaust now, but there cannot be another one, regardless of the group of people involved. i want to be able to do something for humanity but feel that i can't, and that i am powerless in this world.
because of the above, i decided that i need to get my planned tattoo soon. i forget that i'm jewish sometimes, and while i'll never be religious or believe in any sort of traditional god (or any god at all) i can't forget myself, the ethnic culture i was born and raised in, my family, the six million. tattoos may be forbidden in the old testament and certainly frowned upon by my family, but i obviously have my reasons, whether or not either find them decent justification.
and then i told krystel about all this and felt better. she wants to borrow my book on modern jewish thought so that she can read about post-holocaust theodicy.
i read for pleasure. for pleasure! during school! i continued reading the foucault that i had started during spring break.
i bought milano cookies and while on the east side of campus visited kate. we smoked cigarettes and talked about literature and meta-vodka, which comments on the institution of drinking and the social construct of drunkenness as the level of the bottle dwindles. once harrison plopped himself down we came up with ideas for attractions for a very un-P.C. amusement park and went inside, where french toast and the most bizarre staring contest ever ensued.
"fell down the stairs" by tilly and the wall played on my iPod as i began the trek back to my room. i smiled as i floated downstairs.
the overpass smells like flowers. i couldn't help smiling some more at that.
it's been a fulfilling day and now i am ready to go to sleep, wake up at 11am, eat something and read more foucault, then go to the library and read "the aeneid" for my epic poetry class at 3:30. and research, perhaps? i am writing a paper on the influence of the holocaust and diaspora judaism on jacques derrida and deconstruction theory (or, if that ends up being too specific, on postmodern philosophy). it's going to be a bitch to write, but if i work on it and have an arguable thesis it'll be publishable. me, published in an academic journal! the concept is too much for my little immature brain to handle.
goodnight.
the power went out in my dorm and pretty much everywhere else and i ended up sleeping through my russian class as a result. it couldn't be helped, so instead i settled down to read for my varieties of modern judaism class.
i went out to lunch with a few friends who knocked on my door and invited me out because they hadn't seen me since the weekend and missed me.
being in petsmart made me miss my dog.
i finished all my reading for friday's VMJ class which all had to do with the holocaust, the circumstances surrounding it, accounts of jewish surival and the view of the jew as a nonperson and of the theological and philosophical problems resulting from the annihilation of one-third of the world's jewish population.
i'm not sure how many people reading this know that i'm jewish, although it could probably be easily assumed about me. i have extended family members from belgium who fled to the states once hitler began occupying europe. i also used to have a weird fascination with the holocaust - i obsessively read documents from officials within the third reich and eyewitness accounts and novels and memoirs and anne frank's diary and whatever else i could find. it was the brutality that interested me, the cold industrialized systematic murder of an entire group of human beings, a group which i belonged to. now, though, it isn't even the grisly details that interest me inasmuch as that the allied governments didn't do a goddamned thing to stop these atrocities. the roosevelt administration knew about the death camps and the jewish genocide from 1942 onward and did nothing because they didn't want to transform world war II into a "jewish war." i have to wonder what atrocities are being committed against other people(s) throughout the world, what our government isn't telling us and what it may never tell us. there's this huge sense of guilt i feel about that. i can't do anything about the holocaust now, but there cannot be another one, regardless of the group of people involved. i want to be able to do something for humanity but feel that i can't, and that i am powerless in this world.
because of the above, i decided that i need to get my planned tattoo soon. i forget that i'm jewish sometimes, and while i'll never be religious or believe in any sort of traditional god (or any god at all) i can't forget myself, the ethnic culture i was born and raised in, my family, the six million. tattoos may be forbidden in the old testament and certainly frowned upon by my family, but i obviously have my reasons, whether or not either find them decent justification.
and then i told krystel about all this and felt better. she wants to borrow my book on modern jewish thought so that she can read about post-holocaust theodicy.
i read for pleasure. for pleasure! during school! i continued reading the foucault that i had started during spring break.
i bought milano cookies and while on the east side of campus visited kate. we smoked cigarettes and talked about literature and meta-vodka, which comments on the institution of drinking and the social construct of drunkenness as the level of the bottle dwindles. once harrison plopped himself down we came up with ideas for attractions for a very un-P.C. amusement park and went inside, where french toast and the most bizarre staring contest ever ensued.
"fell down the stairs" by tilly and the wall played on my iPod as i began the trek back to my room. i smiled as i floated downstairs.
the overpass smells like flowers. i couldn't help smiling some more at that.
it's been a fulfilling day and now i am ready to go to sleep, wake up at 11am, eat something and read more foucault, then go to the library and read "the aeneid" for my epic poetry class at 3:30. and research, perhaps? i am writing a paper on the influence of the holocaust and diaspora judaism on jacques derrida and deconstruction theory (or, if that ends up being too specific, on postmodern philosophy). it's going to be a bitch to write, but if i work on it and have an arguable thesis it'll be publishable. me, published in an academic journal! the concept is too much for my little immature brain to handle.
goodnight.
i don't have a dog, but i want one, especially when i go to petland. the petsmart in bradenton sucks, so i don't go there much. but there is a petland on the fruitville road exit next to target. they always have cute puppies.