We had Cheryl's funeral today. It went off just as planned. Huge crowd spilling out the back of the church, the choir singing her favourites, no hitches. Thanks to Aaronsrod for his support also. Just wish Cheryl was here so she could tell me what she thought.
I was pretty bad for the first few days. But on Saturday night I found a box of old photos and photo albums of Cheryl's. I felt so much better looking over her life. The grief still comes in waves but not as often and I don't feel empty when it hits.
I am still in the habit of wanting to turn to her to tell her something I have seen or heard or thought of. Apparently this may never go away.
Emily is going well. We have got into a routine of saying goood morning and night to Cheryl in the sky and she understands that we can't drive to heaven. Now i just have to sort out her schooling.
I have reproduced the eulogy in the spoiler. Its long and won't mean much to you. I have really just put it there as a record in case the computer goes down here because it has been acting up recently. Feel free to read or not read as you wish.
I was pretty bad for the first few days. But on Saturday night I found a box of old photos and photo albums of Cheryl's. I felt so much better looking over her life. The grief still comes in waves but not as often and I don't feel empty when it hits.
I am still in the habit of wanting to turn to her to tell her something I have seen or heard or thought of. Apparently this may never go away.
Emily is going well. We have got into a routine of saying goood morning and night to Cheryl in the sky and she understands that we can't drive to heaven. Now i just have to sort out her schooling.
I have reproduced the eulogy in the spoiler. Its long and won't mean much to you. I have really just put it there as a record in case the computer goes down here because it has been acting up recently. Feel free to read or not read as you wish.
SPOILERS! (Click to view)
For just less than 2 years, Cheryl and I have known this day would come although Cheryl was determined to fight the cancer all the way, even up to the last second. Over that time, I have occasionally reflected on what I would say about Cheryl. But now that it is here, I find that I am lost for words, simply because there is too much to say and words are not adequate enough to express her beautiful spirit. You really need to experience Cheryl understand and I ask you all to call upon your memories of her to fill in the gaps of this incomplete sketch of her life.
Cheryl Len Chin Wong was born on 13 December 1967, the only child of Richard and Phoebe Wong. Cheryl was born in a town called Tawau in Sabah Province, Malaysia, although she always insisted that she was Singaporean, not Malaysian.
Cheryl was raised by her parents and her paternal grandmother, Jenny Wong, known affectionately as Po Po. In 1975, Cheryl and Po Po immigrated to Australia with her parents arriving some time later. Eventually, the 4 settled in Brisbane to our good fortune.
We owe a great debt to Richard, Phoebe and Jenny Wong for guiding Cheryl over her early years and the care they provided on a daily basis after her diagnosis.
Cheryl went to St Margaret's. She did a little sport (preferring sports with minimal time for effort such as sprinting), a lot of speech and drama (Cheryl always loved centre stage), and excelled academically, being on the Honours list for year 12.
Cheryl studied degrees in Arts and Law at the University of Queensland, including graduating with honours in Law.
Cheryl started her Articles at Henderson Trout which later became Clayton Utz. She continued there until the end. After what may be described as a "learning experience" in the Corporate section (including the unique experience of handling Christopher Skase's passport before his flight to Majorca) Cheryl settled into the Insolvency section where she thrived. Fondly called Madame Lash by her clients, Cheryl loved the work and the people. She advanced to the position of Senior Associate shortly before announcing she would be going on maternity leave. I would like to thank Clayton Utz for their support to our family over the last few years.
I would also like to briefly mention the proudest moment in Cheryl's professional career when she achieved the top mark nationally in the IPAA insolvency practitioners' course. It was typical of Cheryl that she threw everything at obtaining the best mark she could when a pass would be sufficient.
So much for the tangible. What of the intangibles? Here it becomes difficult to tie down Cheryl. She had so many aspects to her and she had so many experiences with others outside my knowledge that I am sure that I am selling her short. Cheryl was an experience not easily summarised but once you had the experience, you knew it.
When I first asked Cheryl out, my brother, Tom, had concerns about compatability. Cheryl had been Tom's friend for several years beforehand. He pointed out that Cheryl got on well with people, went out to parties and had fun, was witty and clever, and very, very beautiful. And I was none of those things.
Fortunately, as Cheryl told me later, she had passed her partying phase and was looking for something else. From 21 July 1990 to the present, I have thanked Cheryl and God that that something else was me. I am convinced that it was a miracle that she was interested in me and that we later fell in love because nothing else can explain my good fortune.
Cheryl could charm your socks off. She was not just physically beautiful, as evidenced by her photographs. Cheryl was blessed with that special aura which you see when some people enter a room. And she knew how to use. With a radiant smile, a soft voice and a little tilt of the head, she could make anyone her life long friend. Many times my anger at her failure to arrive anywhere on time would disappear in an instant the moment I saw her smiling at me. I soon learnt resistance was futile and got used to missing the train or bus home.
Cheryl was also singled minded in achieving her goals and was a perfectionist. Whether it was work at Clayton Utz or a "project" at home, you did not want to get in her way.
I vividly remember her campaign to domesticate me when we got married. Cheryl's father and mother received similar training in how to do things the Cheryl way when they began caring for Emily and Cheryl in 2004.
Cheryl loved the thrill of finding a bargain. She researched and hunted and haggled to get the best price possible when shopping. Not because money was tight but because she was simply determined to get the best price possible. Although such things were wasted on me, she took great pride in showing her prizes to my mother who was duly appreciative.
At Clayton Utz, this determination meant a strong focus on her career and her files. She ran files meticulously. I recall Cheryl providing a detailed history and analysis of a file to her office over the mobile for almost an hour during a holiday whilst we drove around the vineyards on the Mornington Peninsula.
At home, I dreaded Cheryl staying up late into the early morning as that meant another project, whether it be moving house, buying a unit at Noosa, going overseas or completely rebuilding the backyard.
Cheryl also applied this determination to the various charities and community projects she was involved.
When we first went out, Cheryl ran the Friday youth group at this church and she continued to be a regular reader at Sunday services until recently.
Cheryl was actively involved in the committee for the Insolvency Women's Association known as IWIRQ, and made many friends there.
More recently, she was on the committee for the Domestic Violence Resource Centre. Cheryl found this particularly rewarding as it gave her the opportunity to exercise her mind again with difficult legal and practical issues. Cheryl was very sorry to have to leave the committee in November as her health deteriorated.
Cheryl also turned her determination to 1 of the few happy chances to flow from her illness, namely, the Kim Walters Choices Foundation. Thursday was Choices day for Cheryl. She looked forward to going to the art classes, or foot rubs or raike or back massages, or just talking to the girls. Cheryl enjoyed her turn as a model for the fashion show and was proud of the various exhibitions of her artworks. Even Cheryl was surprised at her art output and spent many nights painting at home. Handmade cards and decorations abounded. As recent as New Years Eve, Cheryl doodled a lily on 1 of Emily's drawings for her to find in the morning.
In fact, I believe that Choices inspired Cheryl in her greatest project, our daughter Emily. Art, music, swimming, play groups, Montessori. Cheryl organised a full calendar of activities for Emily, and used all her energy to teach Emily the values which Cheryl and I hope she will grow into. As Cheryl became sicker or the treatment became more demanding, others in the family took over the hard work, but Cheryl controlled it all. On the night of her death, I reflected on her efforts in co-ordinating Emily's 3rd birthday party, only 1 month earlier, which resembled the Normandy landings in their complexity. I could not understand how such a will could end.
Last but not least of her talents was Cheryl's capacity to make friends. This was not being gregarious or air kissing but the ability to make strong and loyal friends through listening, enjoying life and empathy. Cheryl was there for the party, or to help out, or to give someone an outlet for their problems. Cheryl never turned her back on her friends even at the toughest of moments for herself.
Many people told me over the last week that it wasn't fair, that Cheryl should go while less deserving people remain. I thought the same myself and became quite angry shortly before Cheryl's death - not at anyone in particular, just at fate in general. I could not believe that this bright light was going, leaving a darkness in the middle of me. But 2 days after Cheryl died, I found a box of old photographs of Cheryl - before the cancer and some even before we met. And I felt her presence again, with the laughter in the pictures and the memory of her in better days. She had already done so much.
We are all diminished by her going and we should all still cry because she won't be here in the future to make our lives better. But I no longer feel the darkness because she shines through whenever I remember her and I can hear her voice reassuring me as to what has to be done, her way.
Cheryl always enjoyed life and to me, was life itself. In her view of life, caution and regrets were a waste. If you are going to tread on thin ice, you might as well tap dance.
Goodbye Cheryl. We all love you forever and a day.
For just less than 2 years, Cheryl and I have known this day would come although Cheryl was determined to fight the cancer all the way, even up to the last second. Over that time, I have occasionally reflected on what I would say about Cheryl. But now that it is here, I find that I am lost for words, simply because there is too much to say and words are not adequate enough to express her beautiful spirit. You really need to experience Cheryl understand and I ask you all to call upon your memories of her to fill in the gaps of this incomplete sketch of her life.
Cheryl Len Chin Wong was born on 13 December 1967, the only child of Richard and Phoebe Wong. Cheryl was born in a town called Tawau in Sabah Province, Malaysia, although she always insisted that she was Singaporean, not Malaysian.
Cheryl was raised by her parents and her paternal grandmother, Jenny Wong, known affectionately as Po Po. In 1975, Cheryl and Po Po immigrated to Australia with her parents arriving some time later. Eventually, the 4 settled in Brisbane to our good fortune.
We owe a great debt to Richard, Phoebe and Jenny Wong for guiding Cheryl over her early years and the care they provided on a daily basis after her diagnosis.
Cheryl went to St Margaret's. She did a little sport (preferring sports with minimal time for effort such as sprinting), a lot of speech and drama (Cheryl always loved centre stage), and excelled academically, being on the Honours list for year 12.
Cheryl studied degrees in Arts and Law at the University of Queensland, including graduating with honours in Law.
Cheryl started her Articles at Henderson Trout which later became Clayton Utz. She continued there until the end. After what may be described as a "learning experience" in the Corporate section (including the unique experience of handling Christopher Skase's passport before his flight to Majorca) Cheryl settled into the Insolvency section where she thrived. Fondly called Madame Lash by her clients, Cheryl loved the work and the people. She advanced to the position of Senior Associate shortly before announcing she would be going on maternity leave. I would like to thank Clayton Utz for their support to our family over the last few years.
I would also like to briefly mention the proudest moment in Cheryl's professional career when she achieved the top mark nationally in the IPAA insolvency practitioners' course. It was typical of Cheryl that she threw everything at obtaining the best mark she could when a pass would be sufficient.
So much for the tangible. What of the intangibles? Here it becomes difficult to tie down Cheryl. She had so many aspects to her and she had so many experiences with others outside my knowledge that I am sure that I am selling her short. Cheryl was an experience not easily summarised but once you had the experience, you knew it.
When I first asked Cheryl out, my brother, Tom, had concerns about compatability. Cheryl had been Tom's friend for several years beforehand. He pointed out that Cheryl got on well with people, went out to parties and had fun, was witty and clever, and very, very beautiful. And I was none of those things.
Fortunately, as Cheryl told me later, she had passed her partying phase and was looking for something else. From 21 July 1990 to the present, I have thanked Cheryl and God that that something else was me. I am convinced that it was a miracle that she was interested in me and that we later fell in love because nothing else can explain my good fortune.
Cheryl could charm your socks off. She was not just physically beautiful, as evidenced by her photographs. Cheryl was blessed with that special aura which you see when some people enter a room. And she knew how to use. With a radiant smile, a soft voice and a little tilt of the head, she could make anyone her life long friend. Many times my anger at her failure to arrive anywhere on time would disappear in an instant the moment I saw her smiling at me. I soon learnt resistance was futile and got used to missing the train or bus home.
Cheryl was also singled minded in achieving her goals and was a perfectionist. Whether it was work at Clayton Utz or a "project" at home, you did not want to get in her way.
I vividly remember her campaign to domesticate me when we got married. Cheryl's father and mother received similar training in how to do things the Cheryl way when they began caring for Emily and Cheryl in 2004.
Cheryl loved the thrill of finding a bargain. She researched and hunted and haggled to get the best price possible when shopping. Not because money was tight but because she was simply determined to get the best price possible. Although such things were wasted on me, she took great pride in showing her prizes to my mother who was duly appreciative.
At Clayton Utz, this determination meant a strong focus on her career and her files. She ran files meticulously. I recall Cheryl providing a detailed history and analysis of a file to her office over the mobile for almost an hour during a holiday whilst we drove around the vineyards on the Mornington Peninsula.
At home, I dreaded Cheryl staying up late into the early morning as that meant another project, whether it be moving house, buying a unit at Noosa, going overseas or completely rebuilding the backyard.
Cheryl also applied this determination to the various charities and community projects she was involved.
When we first went out, Cheryl ran the Friday youth group at this church and she continued to be a regular reader at Sunday services until recently.
Cheryl was actively involved in the committee for the Insolvency Women's Association known as IWIRQ, and made many friends there.
More recently, she was on the committee for the Domestic Violence Resource Centre. Cheryl found this particularly rewarding as it gave her the opportunity to exercise her mind again with difficult legal and practical issues. Cheryl was very sorry to have to leave the committee in November as her health deteriorated.
Cheryl also turned her determination to 1 of the few happy chances to flow from her illness, namely, the Kim Walters Choices Foundation. Thursday was Choices day for Cheryl. She looked forward to going to the art classes, or foot rubs or raike or back massages, or just talking to the girls. Cheryl enjoyed her turn as a model for the fashion show and was proud of the various exhibitions of her artworks. Even Cheryl was surprised at her art output and spent many nights painting at home. Handmade cards and decorations abounded. As recent as New Years Eve, Cheryl doodled a lily on 1 of Emily's drawings for her to find in the morning.
In fact, I believe that Choices inspired Cheryl in her greatest project, our daughter Emily. Art, music, swimming, play groups, Montessori. Cheryl organised a full calendar of activities for Emily, and used all her energy to teach Emily the values which Cheryl and I hope she will grow into. As Cheryl became sicker or the treatment became more demanding, others in the family took over the hard work, but Cheryl controlled it all. On the night of her death, I reflected on her efforts in co-ordinating Emily's 3rd birthday party, only 1 month earlier, which resembled the Normandy landings in their complexity. I could not understand how such a will could end.
Last but not least of her talents was Cheryl's capacity to make friends. This was not being gregarious or air kissing but the ability to make strong and loyal friends through listening, enjoying life and empathy. Cheryl was there for the party, or to help out, or to give someone an outlet for their problems. Cheryl never turned her back on her friends even at the toughest of moments for herself.
Many people told me over the last week that it wasn't fair, that Cheryl should go while less deserving people remain. I thought the same myself and became quite angry shortly before Cheryl's death - not at anyone in particular, just at fate in general. I could not believe that this bright light was going, leaving a darkness in the middle of me. But 2 days after Cheryl died, I found a box of old photographs of Cheryl - before the cancer and some even before we met. And I felt her presence again, with the laughter in the pictures and the memory of her in better days. She had already done so much.
We are all diminished by her going and we should all still cry because she won't be here in the future to make our lives better. But I no longer feel the darkness because she shines through whenever I remember her and I can hear her voice reassuring me as to what has to be done, her way.
Cheryl always enjoyed life and to me, was life itself. In her view of life, caution and regrets were a waste. If you are going to tread on thin ice, you might as well tap dance.
Goodbye Cheryl. We all love you forever and a day.
VIEW 9 of 9 COMMENTS
So sorry to hear that you have recently lost someone close